


IT//ONESHOT IMAGINES

by i_am_a_super_fangirl



Category: IT (1990), IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst, Comedy(I hope?), Derogatory Words, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Good quality (hope so), Homophobia, M/M, No Aging Up for Sexual Purpose s, No Smut, Romance, Short Stories, Slow Updates, Swearing(Richie of course), cuteness, oneshots, these are pure children
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-04-01 13:02:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 38,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13998900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_am_a_super_fangirl/pseuds/i_am_a_super_fangirl
Summary: Just some little stories, involving the losers club of Derry, Maine.





	1. ...Well, I'm gay so...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some fluff and angst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strong language is used in this story, so read at your own risk

     To say that Eddie was freaking out was an understatement. He was step from having a full-on panic attack and it was for one reason. If you asked anyone else, it was a dumb reason and he was considering multiple times that it was a dumb reason. But here’s the thing about Eddie, he doesn’t give five fucks and every time he started to have second thoughts, he mentally slapped himself about it. You may be wondering what this reason is, or more specifically who?

 

     Well, it’s not other than Richie Fucking Tozier.

 

     The trashmouth hadn’t show up to school at all for three days and no one knew why. Eddie was always coming up with out-of-this-world theories as to why he didn’t show up. Most of them involved IT, since it was two months after the incident. The losers reminded him multiple times that IT had nothing to do with Richie’s absence, but that didn’t stop the germaphobe from worrying. He cared for the boy so much because as much as he tried to deny it, Eddie had developed a crush on him.  Eddie Kaspbrak liked Richie Tozier and Eddie had absolutely no idea why. Richie was the definition of annoying when it came to Eddie, joking about his mother, making fun of his stubbornness to do something spontaneous, his constant dick jokes. But he also loved the way Richie scrunched his nose when he laughed, how his eyes lit whenever Eddie made a slight chuckle to one of his jokes, or how softly his lips moved when he spoke. Since he liked the boy, the pros had outweighed the cons as his crush grew stronger everyday.

 

     Sadly, he knew that the two of them would never work out because of the obstacles that came in the way. His mother would fucking flip out if she found out her so was a ‘faggot.’ the Bowers Gang would have a field day with them, doing more than dropping their books. But the biggest one was definitely the fact that Richie might not even like him back at all, which was Eddie’s biggest heartbreak.

 

***

 

     Eddie had made a plan to visit Richie after school, not even caring that his mother told him to come home straight after school. The only thing on his mind was Richie and not even Sonia Kaspbrak could change that.

 

     He finally arrived at the boy’s house, lazily dropping his bike on the lawn and walking up to the front porch. He lifted his hand in a fist, hovering over the wooden door because at this point he was actually starting to have second thoughts.

 

     “Fuck,” he muttered. What if he was just sick and he just needed to take care of himself for a couple days? What if he went on an unexpected trip with his parents and just forgot to tell the losers? Eddie glanced over to the driveway for confirmation, but his car was still there so that theory was a no. The boy sighed, licking his bottom lip nervously and finally knocking on the door. It only took a few seconds for someone to answer, revealing Richie’s mother on the other side. She was leaning on the door with one hand against the door and other on her hip, the smell of alcohol basically radiated off her, making Eddie cringe at the burning sensation going down his nose.

 

     “I-Is Richie ho-”

 

     “He’s at the barrens.” She cut him off, replying with a small slur in her voice before slamming the door in his face, making Eddie jump back a few feet. He stood there, dazed, trying to process what had just happened. Eddie knew how horrible Richie’s mother was, but he never really had the chance to ever have a conversation with her. Even the small exchange caused a very bad impression with him and she was definitely not on the list for their wedding.

 

***

 

     After a lengthy bike ride, Eddie finally arrived at the barrens, dropping his bike near the bike he could only assume was the trashmouth. Finally, he could see what had happened to the boy after long nights of wondering. The sun was setting down faster than normal due to the autumn weather which meant Eddie had a small amount of time before his mother was going to call the police.

 

     He ended up at the circle of rocks where the blood oath took place just a month ago. There’s even dry spots of the losers blood there, marking it as a sacred place. One of the rocks was preoccupied by a boy wearing a hawaiian shirt, the same fucking one he wore before he stopped coming to school. Next to him was a pair of thick, black rounded glasses, but why wasn’t he wearing them?

 

     That’s when he heard a sniff.

 

     The kind you hear when someone was crying, which could only mean one thing. Richie was crying. Eddie’s heart broke in two when the sound of soft sobs filled his ears, it made him want to cry too.  It also made want to hunt down and kill whoever did this to him.

 

     “Rich?” Eddie called out, catching the boy’s attention. Richie snapped his head around, revealing his puffy red eyes and quivering lips. It broke Eddie even more at the sight of it.

 

     “Eddie?” Richie squeaked, rushingly rubbing his eyes and sucking in all the running snot coming from his nose. “W-What are you d-d-d-doing here?” He asked, stuttering more than Bill.

 

     “You disappeared for days, Rich!” Eddie exclaimed, walking up to the boy. Richie flinched, but still made room for Eddie to sit down next to him. That when Eddie noticed the purple hue on Richie’s cheek. His mother was the first thing that came to Eddie’s mind, which explains why she acted so coldly towards him. “What happened?”

 

     “I’m a faggot, that’s what happened.” Richie scoffed, using his leg to kick a nearby rock in front of him. Eddie was taken back by the derogatory word, he hated it so much considering he was apart of that community, although Richie’s the only guy he has ever liked.

 

     “You’re not a f-”

 

     “According to my mom, I am.” Richie muttered. Eddie was trying to connect the dots as to why she had called him that. Although it was bad timing, he was hoping it was the fact that he might have told his mother he was-

 

     “I told her I was bisexual.”

 

     Close enough.

 

     “You are?” Eddie’s eyes widened. Maybe, he had a chance with the trashmouth, after all.

 

     “Are you going to judge me too?” Richie’s voice sounded broken, but so was he. It’s not like he wanted to tell his mom about his new sexual awakening, it slipped out. His mom was ranting about how evil they were and how she would kill anyone showing the tiniest bit of affection towards the same sex. Obviously, Richie wasn’t killed, but let’s just there aren’t just bruises on his cheek. His mom told him to come home when the ‘sickness’ was washed out of him, like it was something he could get rid of.

 

     No, definitely not, at all!” Eddie replied quickly. He was happy, excited even, that his chances were increasing. “When did you figure this out?”

 

     Richie didn’t want to respond, but he knew Eddie would press him about it so, he thought he’d just come right and say it. “I like a boy.”

 

     Eddie’s heart dropped when he heard those words. “Oh,” he muttered, looking down on the paved cement. There was no way it was him, it was fun while it lasted though. “Um, who is it?” Eddie’s voice cracked as he blinked repeatedly to prevent any tears from falling out.

 

     Richie stayed silent, staring out to look at the trees, harshly swinging from side to side even though the wind didn’t affect the two boys. He didn’t want to tell the germaphobe his crush, because he was worried it would ruin their friendship. That was the reason he didn’t go to school, it was becoming too hard to bear, seeing the guy he liked at school, never getting the courage to tell him how he really feels. It was horrible.

 

     “C’mon Rich, you can tell me.” Eddie nudged Richie, trying his best to not tell him that whoever the guy was didn’t deserve him. It’s not like Eddie thought Richie deserved him, it’s just no one knows Richie like Eddie does and no one would be able to keep up with him.

 

     “Eddie, it’ll ruin everything.” Richie shook his head, sniffing and wiping his nose. Eddie sighed, grabbing Richie’s hand and placing it in his. He wasn’t sure if Richie would think of this as a friendly gesture since he just wanted an excuse to hold his hand.

 

     “I promise it won’t.” Eddie replied, lifting their interlocked hands with every word.

 

     “Promise?” Richie finally mustered up the courage to look Eddie’s eyes, making Eddie flustered as fuck.

 

     “Yeah, t-t-totally.” Eddie nodded slowly, keeping his eyes on Richie’s, and trying not to look down at his lips which looked surprisingly kissable at the moment. Richie took the deepest breath a person could take, making one last check that he wasn’t dreaming before finally uttering the words-

 

     “I like you, Eddie.” He breathed out. Eddie felt his whole world stop as his pounding heart was the only thing he could hear. The words kept replaying in his head, scrambling and unscrambling the words to see if they made sense. His shocked expression turned into an excited one as a smile creeped on his lips.

 

     “ **Well, I’m gay, so…** ” Eddie whispered, making Richie’s eyes widened. Richie knew he was in the clear when he saw Eddie’s cute smile, but now he hears this?

 

     “Holy fuck, really?!” Richie exclaimed, squeezing Eddie’s hand.

 

     “I think so, yeah. I don’t think I like girls, they’re kind of weird.” Eddie chuckled.

 

     “Nah, they’re still hot.” Richie pursed his lips together, making Eddie playfully roll his eyes and gave Richie a light punch on his shoulder.

 

     “Beep beep Richie.” He smirked, feeling happy that Richie’s normal behaviour was flourishing again. “So, what does this mean?”

 

     Richie smiled, knowing what he wanted to do next. He awkwardly placed his hand on Eddie’s cheek, basing all his knowledge on the romance movies he watched at home. Eddie, on the other hand, was freaking out on the inside, knowing what Richie wanted, he could see it in his eyes. This was Eddie’s first kiss and he didn’t want to fuck it up so he went with it. Both of their eyes slowly closed in anticipation and Eddie could already feel the tingling sensation as Richie’s nose brushed his. Finally, Richie closed the gap between their lips, sending chills down both of their bodies. It only lasted like three seconds, because of how shocked they were when their lips touched and there was also the fact they were only thirteen and didn’t really know how kissing worked. Once they pulled away, they looked at each other with wide eyes.

 

     “Eddie, will you be my boyfriend?”

 

     “Helll yeah,”  


	2. She liked boys, did she not?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beverly x Reader

     Beverly was a person you could look at and conclude that she had secrets, and of course she did such as the abusive relationship with her father, but that wasn’t it. She developed a new secret she’d never thought she would have, and it started when you walked into her 1st period class, Science.

     You were obviously nervous since you’ve never moved before, living in your hometown since you were born. Your parents wanted a fresh start, getting bored of the same old same old. What you didn’t understand was why they picked Derry, Maine of all places to have that fresh start, yet here you were.

     “Now class, we have a new student with us today.” The teacher announced. The feeling of guilt filled the air as the students knew how new kids were treated in their school, especially by Gretta Keene and the Bowers Gang.

     You finally walked through the doorway, clutching your bookbag like it was your lifeline. You felt as if each footstep you took was a boulder crashing to the ground as you were the only person filling the silence. Beverly immediately felt sorry for you, noticing your nervous stance as your eyes frantically looked around the classroom. She also noticed how the sunshine coming from the opened window shined on you, revealing more colour to your (e/c) eyes as they shimmered brightly. She would probably never admit it, but she thought you were a really pretty girl and not in a friendly ‘you’re really pretty’ way, but a more romantic ‘you’re really pretty’way.

     “Go ahead, introduce yourself.” The teacher gestured for you to speak up. You hesitantly took a step forward, centering yourself in the front of the classroom. You felt all eyes piercing into your soul, gulping and rocking on your heels ever-so slightly.

     “I’m (Y/N).” It was all you could muster to get out, and gladly it was enough since the teacher told you to take your seat. The only one available was a desk next to a girl with long strawberry red hair and pale skin with a darker tone of small spots splattered across her face. You set your bag down next to the rickety wooden desk and sat down in the seat, very awkwardly I might add.

     Beverly felt the need to talk to you, not just because she wanted to get to know you, but she also wanted to hear your soft voice, the two words you had spoken wasn’t enough for her and she wanted to hear more. Taking a deep breath and pushing all the bad possibilities of the upcoming conversation in her head, she turned to you with her signature smile planted on her lips.

     “Um, hi. It’s (Y/N), right?” She spoke up, waiting for you to reply. Thankfully, you noticed the gesture quite quickly, surprised someone was actually willing to talk to you. You turned your head to get a better look, and it was at that moment you noticed how piercingly beautiful her blue eyes were. They really complimented her red hair, but it was just an observation, you weren’t what others would call a ‘queer’ or a ‘fag.’ Right?

     “Y-Yeah, I’m-uh new here.” You mentally slapped yourself for stating the obvious, hoping the girl wouldn’t find you weird. Thankfully, she only chuckled, thinking about how cute you were, being so flustered. A red tint appeared on your face as you heard her chuckle. To another person, it was a normal chuckle, but to you it was an angelic sound, coming from heaven above.

     “I’d get nervous, if I were new too.” Beverly ran a hand through her wavy hair. “So, why Derry?” She asked, starting the conversation and actually being genuinely interested as to why you chose a shiity town like this one.

     “Parent’s choice, not mine.” You sighed, rubbing your sweaty palms against your thighs. “If it were my choice, I’d be in Florida.” You tried to be a little more out there, adding on to your short answer since you wanted to impress her, but you didn’t know why.

     “Well, (Y/N), welcome to Derry. I’m Beverly Marsh.” She stuck out her hand out, bending the joint since the reach wasn’t that long. You happily accepted the handshake, softly placing your hand on hers. They fit perfectly, feeling like two pillows pressed against each other. Beverly wondered if this feeling might feel the same as your lips against he-

     Wait, why is she thinking like this? **She liked boys, did she not?** Yeah, she never had the feeling you were supposed to feel when you were attracted to someone with a boy, but she just assumed it was because she hadn’t found the right boy, but she felt something with you. You felt something too, but it wasn’t something you were used to. You’ve never had a crush before, and you’ve definitely never experienced it with a girl. That’s when you had a small revelation and Beverly found her new secret.

     You both might like girls.


	3. Had he just said that out loud?

     Richie was not having a good day, at all today. It was a normal summer day in Derry, Maine, but no one was available to hang out. Eddie was currently in the hospital, getting his arm checked out, Mike was busy at his farm like usual, Beverly’s father would never let her out of the house, especially with boys around. Stan was hung up on practicing for his Bar Mitzvah, Bill had caught a really bad fever and was bedridden for a few days, and Ben was too caught up in going to the library. As for you, Richie didn’t want to hang out with you because he was mad at you, but not for the reason you think.

 

     He was jealous, because you felt the need to talk to every other loser except him, lately. You just wanted to interact with the others more because you felt you never really talked to them as much as you talked to Richie. This didn’t sit well with him though as every chuckle or laugh you made that came from someone else’s joke was like a punch to the gut. As selfish as it sounded, he wanted you to only laugh at his jokes and only pay attention to him, after all, you met him first when you moved in 5th grade.

 

     You both got into a huge fight, throwing curse words back and forth before Richie stomped away and you ran to your house, trying to fight back the cryfest you were developing and quickly wiping any tear that tried to fall from your eyes.

 

     So, here he was, alone on a hot summer day, riding his bike through town. That is, until Henry Bowers and his mindless followers started riding Belch Huggins car behind him. It wasn’t until Richie heard the large honking and the blasting sound of AC/DC, that he was alerted to start pedaling faster. His breathing sped up as he turned his head occasionally to see if they were gaining on him and each glance was worse than the other, seeing that they inched closer each time.

 

     “Where are the rest of your loser friends, Tozier?!” Henry yelled, laugh maniacally as sweat poured down Richie’s face. He turned around one last time to see his bike tire being a good meter away from the front of Belch’s car, when he turned back to the front, he came face to face with a dead end. He tried to turn, but it was such a sharp one, the momentum pulled him off his bike, sending him to roll on the floor. The jolts of pain radiated off his right elbow, forehead and left knee, making him groan in absolute pain.

 

     The car screeched up to him, making Richie jerk back so he wouldn’t get hurt. The bullies laughed at him and cheered, celebrating that they hit their target. “Not so talkative without your friends, huh trashmouth?” Patrick sneered, throwing a finished cigarette at him. The car rode off, giving off a streak of black smoke as it drove.

 

     Richie felt sore all over, but it wasn’t until he a red liquid stream right passed his eye that he concluded that he needed medical attention. Normally, he would go to Eddie’s, but since he wasn’t home, he decided to go the next best place. Your house.

 

     The walk wasn’t that long, but it was made longer when you add the fact that Richie was limping there and there was the added baggage of his bike. He finally arrived, pushing down the kickstand on the bike and resting it right in front of your porch. It would be the first time you both had talked since the incident and Richie wished you two would interact under a different circumstance. The sign of no cars indicated that there was a chance you weren’t home, but Richie thought he should at least try so he weakly knocked on the door twice and took a small step back. Thankfully, it was you opened the door with a bored look on your face since you didn’t want to deal with any visitors. Your eyes flickered to look at Richie, but your expression changed when you noticed his broken state.

 

     “Holy shit, what happened to you?” Your eyes widened, scanning Richie up and down for any bruises and cuts. You were kind of hoping something surprising would happen today, but you didn’t want it to your best friend in pain.

 

     “Bowers,” Richie replied weakly. Just saying the word somewhat loudly made Richie wince in pain, telling you that he was really badly injured. You took his arm and threw it around your shoulder, interlocking your two hands together and slid your other arm around his waist to support him.

 

     “Where’s everybody else?” You grunted as he stumbled on each step. You were wondering why he was hanging out alone today, and you were also kind of bummed that he didn’t ask you to come.

 

     “They were busy.” He muttered, trying to talk slowly as possible.

 

     “Why did you come here?” You asked.

 

     “You were the only other-“ he groaned. “-person who I knew would be at your house.” You nodded in response, feeling a pang of sadness that you were probably the last person he had thought of for help. You lead him to the bathroom and sat him on top of the sink, before opening the cabinet and getting alcohol rub, cotton balls and band-aids.

 

     “This might sting. Sorry in advance.” You gave him a small smile, causing him to return the same one. It turned into a mini staring contest, until you snapped out of it and opened the bottle. You drenched one spot of the cotton ball in alcohol, cringing at the strong burning smell it was giving off. You hesitantly raised your arm towards the cut on his forehead, dabbing it softly. Richie winced ever-so slightly, making you apologize over and over again. Once you were done with that, you took a wet cloth and ran it down his face to get rid of the dry blood.

 

     During this whole process, Richie’s eyes were on you, thinking about how cute you looked when you were concentrated. Your eyebrows were knitted together with your tongue kind of sticking out, and your eyes were focused. It was at that moment he realized how close you two were, if you leaned in any closer, you would practically be kissing and he kind of wanted to.

 

     He kind of wanted to kiss you.

 

     Maybe that’s why he got so jealous when you decided to talk to the others, because he thought they could have a chance with you if you payed more attention. He wanted all of your attention on him and not just as friend. All of it was starting makes sense for him, how could he have been so oblivious to the fact that he _liked_ you. He felt he needed to tell you, but he didn’t know how, he didn’t just want to blurt out-

 

     “I have a crush on you.”

 

     Fuck.

 

      **Had he just said that out loud?**

 

     Apparently he did, judging by the look on your face. You weren’t expecting it at all, you were just trying to open a band-aid. Each word came to you in waves, taking in each one slowly like cough syrup. Had the guy who has been your friend since 5th grade just tell you he liked you? More than a friend?

 

     “What?” You choked out, surprised that you actually managed to get one word out. If you were being honest, you had always felt something for Richie, but you never knew what it was. He was definitely easier to talk to than other people, he was the only guy who could get a genuine laugh out of you every time he told you a joke, and he treated you differently, a special kind of different. Maybe, that’s why he freaked out when you spent more time with the other losers, because he liked you. And you think you might like him back.

 

     “I-I did NOT mean to say that,” his voice cracked. “It just-just slipped out.” He said, frantically looking around and ripping the band-aid out of your hands. “It’s um-It’s getting late now, so I should go.” Richie jumped off the sink, immediately regretting it when he felt a stab of pain in his stomach. You furrowed your eyebrows, remembering it was only 2:00 when he arrived at your house.

 

     “Richie, it’s only-

 

     “Yeah, it’s really late.” He stumbled, walking towards-nope, limping towards the door.

 

     “It’s 2:00 in the afternoon! Richie!” You called out, but he kept limping, twisting the doorknob. You weren’t letting him go that easily, running and slamming the door shut, before he could even open it a few inches. Richie sighed, knowing he was trapped inside with his crush which would’ve been a good thing under a different circumstance.

 

    “Listen (Y/N), what I said was an accident-”

 

     “Richie-”

 

     “Crush could mean a lot of things, for all you know, I was talking about the fucking drink brand-”

 

     “Tozier-”

 

     “It’s not that I wouldn’t WANT to have a crush on you, I mean who wouldn’t? You’re amazing-”

 

     “Rich-”

 

     “IN A FRIENDLY WAY OF COURSE!”

 

     “RICHARD TOZIER!” You shouted at the top of your lungs, finally getting him to shut up.

 

     “Yeah?” Richie asked softly, anticipating the worst rejection known to man.

 

     “I like you too.” You smiled, placing your hand on his shoulder.

 

    “Yeah, I get it-" Richie’s widened as he heard your words come out of your mouth. "Wait... what?"

 

     “I like you too, Tozier.” You repeated, reaching out to readjust his crooked glasses, getting his face to reach all new levels of red.

 

     “Cool,” he cleared his throat. “That’s cool-great!” His attempt to be chill failed miserably as you chuckled at his patheticness. You leaned in and gave him a small peck on the lips, leaving Richie awestruck and speechless. You really didn’t think you had it in you until you did it, biting your lip out of embarrassment, but the lip bite made Richie want to kiss you again.

 

     “Did I do that-did I do that right?” You fidgeted. “You didn’t think it was awkwar-”

 

     “I thought it was amazing.” He breathed out.

 

     “It was my first kiss, so…” You breathlessly chuckled, scratching the back of your neck.

 

     “Same with me.” Richie shrugged, making you both chuckle. Turns out your day was surprising after all.

  



	4. “Go without me”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mike x Reader

     Mike stood in front of you with a black suit and a pained look in his eyes. There were different scenarios going on in his head as he thought back to August 15, 1989. It was a dreadful day for the losers, but more specifically him and it was a day they were trying to forget. They did eventually as old age took their memory of the event away from them, but Mike? He had never forgotten since he stayed in Derry, remembering the promise the losers and him made a month after the event.

     As Mike grew older, his love for you strengthened, letting the last words you said before you left replay in his head. Every time he thought about he’d shed a tear.

      _This was it, you were finally going to kill this demon that was causing everyone trouble since before you could remember._

      _The losers had broken up, but put their petty squabble aside when Beverly Marsh was taken from them. You knew it was the last straw as Beverly was your best friend and taking her was a huge mistake._

      _The group walked into the Neibolt house with fear radiating off all of them, but fear was the least of their problems at this point. You and Mike were holding hands, not caring if anyone was watching as you both developed feelings for each other throughout the summer, but you hadn’t told each other, it was an unspoken thing._

      _You climbed down the well after Bill, telling Mike that he better get down in with you. He told you he’s not going anywhere, making you smile and plant a small kiss on his cheek. Eddie followed after you, then Richie and Bill._

      _But Mike didn’t come._

_You stuck your head out, only to be faced by one bloodied Henry Bowers, making all fear burst out of you like a supernova. You screamed for Mike as you heard his yelps in pain and tears started to fall from your eyes. After a few loud thuds against the well, Henry was sent tumbling down the deep hole, letting you sigh in relief._

      _When Mike finally came down, you gave him the most spine-crushing hug, saying that you aren’t leaving his side for the rest of this. You also confessed your feelings in the heat of the moment, happy that he reciprocated those feelings as well._

      _After a few mishaps with Stan and Bill, the group had arrived at the cistern, finding the missing kids and Beverly. She was in a frozen state, but because of the kiss from Ben, she woke up and you all shared one big group hug. That is, until Pennywise showed up, putting up a real good fight against you and the losers and eventually had Bill in his grasp. IT told you all to leave, and have Bill stay with him but all of you knew that wasn’t an option._

      _You all fought with the last amount of strength you had, hitting IT where it hurt. You got the last chance to finally end IT once and for all, taking the pole you had and stabbing it through his chest. Unfortunately, IT had the upper hand, taking the pole out of him and whacking you in the stomach, sending you flying backwards. IT stomped up to you, seeming invincible as the losers tried piercing and hitting IT, but it was no use. Your vision was blurry since you banged your head on the ground when you landed. IT grabbed your hair, pulling it back as ITs hands turned into sharp black claws, piercing into your stomach and making you scream in ungodly pain. Then IT twisted ITs claws inside your stomach, cutting deeper than ever before, making the pain so surreal, you couldn’t breathe._

_“(Y/N)!” Mike screamed, charging towards IT and stabbing IT right in the heart before IT could do anymore damage. The losers continued beating IT to a pulp, while Mike stayed next to you, pressing his hand against your stomach to stop the bleeding. They had circled IT at this point, telling IT they weren’t afraid anymore, before IT deteriorated, disappearing into the hole._

     “ _Fear,” was the last thing IT said, before the losers ran back to you and Mike._

_“H-Hey, (Y/N), stay with m-me okay?” Mike panted, placing both hands against your stomach, but it was no use as the blood loss was too much. You knew this was it and you were going to die, as you weakly placed your hand on Mike’s arm._

_“G-G- **Go without me.** ” You panted and scrunched your nose at the excruciating pain, causing Mike to snap his head towards you and kept repeating that you were coming back with them, but you knew that wasn’t even an option as you called his name for him to stop rambling._

_“Can you p-p-promise me something?” You asked as tears rolled down everyone’s faces. They all nodded, knowing that you weren’t making it out of here alive._

_“Stay t-t-together, no matter w-w-what happens. It’s s-s-seven of you now, okay? Lucky seven.” You choked out, making Mike break down even more. You placed a hand on his cheek, making in one last touch as you leaned in, even though the pain was unbearable and placed a soft kiss to his lips._

_You whispered something in his ear as your hand slipped from his cheek, becoming limp._

_You were gone._

_That’s when the losers lost it, calling your name as if you were miraculously going to come back. Mike stayed silent, staring at you in awe. All the hopes of going on dates, sneaking out at night, working on the farm, riding your bikes around town, and just fucking around, has vanished. He felt like he was in some sick twisted nightmare and in a way, he was and he wanted to wake up to see you telling him everything was okay._

_But it wasn’t going to happen anymore._

_He got up, letting his legs take control and got an old blanket from the pile and brought it back to you and wrapped you inside it, knowing how cold one’s skin could get when they died, before picking you up bridal style and placing you down in a more open area._

_“We have to go.” He deadpanned, trudging back to the losers who were standing behind him. As much as he’d like to just lay with you, he knew you wouldn’t want him staying here._

_“We can’t just leave her h-here.” Beverly hiccuped, wrapping her arms around herself. Mike didn’t say a word, walking right passed the losers in defeat, letting the words you said replay in his head_.

     And Mike was never the same after that. He remembered staying up in his room for the whole day after, trashing his room out of pure rage. He stopped doing the job of killing sheep when he remembered how you used to name them and play with each one. Your favourite was Rainy and you would tell it was her because her feet with two inches bigger than the others, and every time you visited, she would be the first one you hung out with. He remembers how he didn’t talk to the losers for a full month, barely going into town, unless he was delivering meat.

     The others knew how much you meant to him and decided that he needed the space, and seeing them would bring back memories of you. But most of all, he remembers your funeral. Obviously it was a closed casket since you weren’t inside, and the story was you got lost in the woods and the terrors of the night got to you. He was fuming at the funeral, knowing no actually cared about you and would be going along with their day right after. The only people who cared were your parents, the losers and him, but what would you expect? Living in a town like Derry?

     So, here Mike was, standing in front you or your grave with pain in his eyes. It had been 27 years and he followed your instructions, calling the others and letting them know that IT was back. Mike wanted to make that clown pay for what IT did, but at this moment, he just wanted to be with you. He placed the promise ring he was going to give you right on top of your stone, reading the writing on your tombstone that he picked out himself.

**(Y/N) (L/N)  
              1977-1989  
   “Don’t stop remembering”**


	5. Carving Rocks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> STAN X BILL

The losers sat near the barrens, simply enjoying each other’s company, talking about the weirdest shit that came to their minds. Well, everyone but Beverly, she was focused on something else as she took a drag from her cigarette. Her attention was on two specific boys, Stan and Bill to be exact, taking in the burning sensation of nicotine from her cigarette and the sexual tension the boys gave off. She had noticed how they always wanted to be close each other, how they laughed at each others jokes even when it wasn’t funny, and how they would get every chance to steal glances from one another.

It was blatantly obvious they liked one another and Beverly was the only one who knew as they both privately told her separately because they were scared of what the others would think of them liking a boy. Being the good friend she is, Beverly kept her promise and never told any of the other losers, but that didn’t stop her from playing matchmaker. She had a plan, oh boy she had a plan that was risky, but worth it.

***

Beverly had told the two boys to meet her at the quarry cliff, letting her plan commence. She spent hours carving into rocks, until it looked clear enough to read and placed them down in the order she wanted before setting her hands on her hips and letting out a satisfied sigh.

The ruffle of leaves indicated her that at least one of them were coming so she ran of to nearby bush that was far away enough to not be seen. She peeked out and saw Stan and Bill arrive at the same time. Her lips curled into a smirk as she noticed the boys had saw what she carved in the rocks.

Both boys were awestruck, refusing to look at each other, feeling the other might reject them right in their face. They had always felt that other had maybe liked them back, but they weren’t exactly sure or not. Well, until now.

**STAN LIKES BILL AND BILL LIKES STAN FIGURE IT OUT-B.M.**

“Beverly,” Stan sighed. He could tell by the initials on the last rock and the fact that he only told her about his school boy crush.

“You t-t-t-told her you like m-m-m-m-” Bill’s stutter was worse than usual, mainly because he was in such a frozen state and was actually surprised he got a few words out.

“That I like you?” Stan said, finishing the sentence Bill couldn’t say. “Yeah, I did.” He scratched the back of his curly hair. On the outside, Stan was quiet, looking to the stuttering boy in response. On the inside, he was freaking out like crazy, happy that he might have a chance with Bill after all.  
“I-uh, I like you t-t-too.” Bill choked out, but mentally slapped himself for stating the obvious. He cringed at the use of his words, turning a deep crimson red along with it.

“I noticed,” Stan chuckled, making Bill chuckle along with him. They both made mental note to tell as many funny jokes as possible just so they can hear each other’s chuckle again. “So, what happens now?” Stan asked.

That’s when the awkward silence was brought upon them. It made sense as they didn’t know they would get this far and thought that their crush would just fade away, they weren’t expecting this at all. Luckily, Bill was the one to get a little confidence, swallowing the lump in his throat and speaking up.

“Will you go out with me?” He asked, not stuttering once and feeling proud of himself. Stan gave him a small smile, while his heart beated faster than a professional sprinters’ in the olympics.

“Yes, yes I would.” Stan nodded, rubbing his sweaty palms against his shorts. This time a comfortable silence fell upon them until they decided to leave the quarry, hand in hand with a new relationship, talking about random things on their way back.

Beverly finally jumped out of the bushes, waiting awhile to make sure they were fully gone. She did a little victory dance towards the carved rocks, picking one up and smirking to herself. “You’ve done good, Marsh.” She said to herself, before whisking the rock into the quarry below.

She really did do good.


	6. Timeline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BILL X READER

_4 years old_

You sat in the sandbox, playing with the pail and shovel your mother had gotten you for your third birthday. You never went to preschool without it, since you didn’t really have any friends to play with you so the sandbox was the place was the place you went during recess.

One day, you went outside for the usual recess, but something was different about the sandbox. Two girls stood in front of it while another two were playing inside, but no one else was in there with them. It was like it was reserved which made you furrow your eyebrows at the sight of it.

You walked over to the sandbox with your pail and shovel in hand, thinking no one probably wanted to play in the sandbox that day. As you were about to walk in, one of the girls stopped you, slightly shoving you backwards.

“You can’t come in here.” One girl said. Being your stubborn self, you just decided to walk past her, but once again you were pushed back, this time a little harder.

“This sandbox is Gretta’s now.” The other girl said. You were confused as to how someone could claim a sandbox for their own since recess was a place for everybody. You looked passed the two girls to see Gretta digging a small hole in the sandbox and decided that maybe she would let you pass.

“Gretta!” Your little voice called out, raising your hand like you were trying to ask a question in class. The ponytailed girl shot her head up and gave you a disgusted look, stomping up to you while causing a mini sandstorm with each step.

“What do you want?” She snarled, being as mean as she will be in nine years.

“May I please play in the sandbox?” You asked politely, using the manners you’ve been taught in class.

“No, this is my sandbox now.” She crossed her arms, making the rest of the group do the same, looking like they were part of some preschool cult.

“But the sandbox is for everybody?” You frowned, giving her your famous puppy dog eyes. They didn’t effect Gretta one bit since there was nothing inside her to warm up to you.

“Play somewhere else, loser!” She shouted, grabbing your shovel from you, making you go into defensive mode and charge towards her. Unfortunately, the other girls held you back and pushed you to ground, making you whimper. Gretta took your shovel and slammed on the ground, causing it to break into two pieces. Tears formed in your eyes at the sight of it, as the other girls laughed at you, calling you a crybaby and a loser. Since you were pretty overdramatic, you thought your life was over and nothing good was ever going to happen to you, that is, until your prince came.

“Hey! Th-th-that wasn’t nice!” A boy called from behind you, making you snap your head in his direction. A boy with sandy dark brown hair that cascaded over his face and noticeable blue eyes helped you off the ground, as you thanked him for the kind gesture.

“What’re you going to do about it, B-B-Bill?” Gretta smirked, mocking the boy’s stutter. You raised an eyebrow, wondering why she was mocking him as you found nothing wrong with the boy repeating some letters in his words.

“I’m going to tell the t-t-teacher on you.” Bill threatened with a serious look on his face. Gretta broke down easily, begging him not to and telling you and him that the sandbox was free of use for you.

“Thank you for doing that.” You gave a toothy smile, using all of your baby teeth and walked over to the sandbox, getting a burst of confidence. “Want to play with me?” You asked him. He nodded, giving you the same smile and sat down next to you in the sand, filling your pail with sand.

You were both having so much fun that you forgot about your broken shovel.

_8 years old_

Bill was panicking profusely for the play he had to act in, especially the part where he had to kiss Beverly Marsh, a redheaded girl he barely knew. You and Beverly had met each other through Bill and became friends pretty fast since you were used to hanging out with boys.

You and Bill had met Richie a few weeks after you both met. No one wanted to be his friend since he kept asking too many questions and bothering others, he decided to give up on trying until you and Bill decided to give him a chance.

Next was Eddie, who didn’t come into preschool after a full month because of his mother making sure that there wasn’t anything that could harm him. This made him an outcast as he was being made fun of for wearing a fanny pack and got so mad, he took it off and threw it away. You felt bad for him and told him that having a fanny pack was pretty cool, which made him smile and you introduced him to Bill and Richie right after.

Stan was last, not coming into the group until the very end of preschool since he went unnoticed, sitting in the back tables and being very quiet. This was when Henry Bowers started terrorizing kids, especially Stan at that time. They’d make fun of the fact that he was Jewish and made fun of the Kippah he wore on his head. It was Bill who finally noticed him and asked him if he wanted to hang with the group, to which he gladly accepted. You and the group eventually decided to have a little mini club, naming yourselves the losers club since you were constantly called that.

The losers were sitting in the barrens, listening to Bill ramble about how he was going to mess up in the play and how he made plans to hide in his house for the whole night. You rolled your eyes at how paranoid he was being and knew that he wasn’t nervous about the play itself and the other losers knew this too.

“Bill!” 8-year-old Richie yelled, cutting off Bill’s ramble. “Your just nervous because you have to suck face with Beverly Marsh.”

“Suck face? Richie, that sounds disgusting.” You grimaced at the use of his words. “But it is true that you’re only actually worried about the kiss.”

“I’ve just never k-k-kissed anyone b-b-before.” Bill sighed, fiddling with his fingers and taking a seat on the large rock next to you.

“Bill, none of us have kissed anyone before. Why would you want to anyway? My mother told me that kissing gives you this thing called herpes.” Eddie explained, talking a hit from his inhaler.

“Hold your horses Eds! I’ve kissed your mother plenty of times and I am completely herpes-less.” Richie replied cheekily, causing Eddie to roll his eyes.

“Shut your trap, Rich.” He groaned, done with his bullshit already although he would never say it.

“Anyway, kissing isn’t that big of a deal. It’s just two people touching lips, they don’t feel anything.” You shrugged, not thinking about it too much. You never understood why there was so much hype around kissing somebody, even though you were completely wrong on how you feel nothing when you kiss.

“Bill, she’s right. Plus, it’s probably Beverly’s first kiss too and I don’t think she’s freaking out as much as you.” Stan explained, leaning back on the rock he was sitting on. Bill sighed and closed his eyes, thinking about what his friends had said and eventually nodded in response.

“Thanks g-g-guys.” He smiled, looking around at each of his friends.

***

The others left around 5:00 so their parents wouldn’t yell at them for staying out to late and you and Bill went to his house for the sleepover you guys had planned to prepare for the play tomorrow night. Your parents and his were really close with each other after you met in preschool since he was the only friend you made at the time, so they already trust you deeply.

“(Y/N)!” A one-year-old Georgie exclaimed, waddling and stumbling towards you as you walked inside. You chuckled, picking him and softly shaking him side to side.

“How’s my favourite Denbrough?” You asked, causing Bill to hit you over the arm and Georgie to giggle. “I’m just joking.” You smirked, but whispered that Georgie is still your favourite in Georgie’s ear before putting him down and letting him waddle away.

You followed Bill upstairs to his room, greeting his mom along the way and collapsing on his bed. Bill paced back and forth, contemplating if he should ask the question he wanted to tell you. There was a chance you might refuse and he didn’t want to face that rejection. Deciding to grow a pair, Bill turned to you, looking at your spread out body on his bed.

“(Y/N)?” He called out to you. Just your head shot up, while the rest of your body didn’t move a muscle before you sat upright on his bed.

“What’s up?” You asked, bouncing on his bed. Bill took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

“Will you k-k-kiss me?” He asked, opening one of his eyes to see your confused expression. You were taken back by the question, wondering he would ask you to do such a thing.

“Why?-“

“-Just so I don’t mess up on s-s-stage.” He replied quickly. You sighed and walked up to him, keeping your confused face.

“You won’t mess up! It’s just one kiss.” You crossed your arms, knowing he was overreacting at this point.

“That everyone will s-see.” Bill muttered. You sighed and gave in, having the mindset that if you didn’t this, he wouldn’t calm down.

“Fine, but if you get me herpes, we aren’t friends anymore.” Your tone sounded unserious, but your face said otherwise. Bill nodded, knowing he shouldn’t take that kind of thing seriously.

You both stood awkwardly, wondering which one of you was going to make the first move until you both just leaned in. Apparently it was too fast, as bumped foreheads instead of touching lips.

“Gah!” You rubbed your forehead as you groaned, taking a step back.

“S-S-Sorry.” He muttered. “I didn’t think you were g-g-going to lean in.”

“Okay, how about you lean first.” You suggested.

“Why me?” He asked.

“It’s you doing the play.” You replied matter-of-factly. Bill groaned and leaned in while you stood still, but he couldn’t find an good angle. He kept awkwardly tilting his head, but nothing matched.

“Just do it, Bill-“

“Can you like t-t-tilt your head-“

“You won’t be able to ask Beverly to tilt her head-“

“That’s not my p-p-point-“

“Okay, maybe I should do it.” You rolled your eyes.

“N-no, I got it.” Bill assured you, but you weren’t having it.

“Um, no you don’t. You just look like your doing a weird head dance.” You chuckled.

“Am not.”

“Are to-“

“Am n-not-“

“Are to!” You smiled. Bill huffed and just dived in, smashing his lips to yours. It looked like the right angle was to have both of your heads tilted in opposite directions. After four seconds, he broke it off with a really red face, making you burst out in laughter.

“Woah! Your face is like a tomato!” You exclaimed, pointing your finger right in his face, causing him to slap it away.

“Sh-shut up,” he grumbled, walking over to the bed and sitting down on it.

“Looks like you do feel something when you kiss someone.” You said through your laughter, not even noticing that Bill definitely felt something more than just having a red face. He felt a sort of spark when it happened, and looked over to you, feeling something different and kind of wanting to kiss you again.

There’s a chance he could feel something new towards you.

_14 years old_

Ever since that day before the play when you both were eight, Bill has had a crush on you, but never told you because you never seemed to reciprocate those feelings towards him. At this point, he was more confident enough to finally tell you about how he feels and made a plan to say it at the barrens in the afternoon.

You, on the other hand actually had reciprocated Bill’s feelings, but stopped showing it when it seemed he liked Beverly and you didn’t want to deprive your best friend of happiness. He hadn’t told you directly that he likes Beverly, but you assumed that’s what he called you to the barrens for, to help him express his feelings for her. You sighed and checked the time, telling you it was time to go.

“Mom, I’m leaving!” You yelled, putting on your favourite sweater and slipping into your sneakers.

“Be back by 6:50!” She yelled back, reminding you about the new curfew for the town.

“Got it!” You said a little more quieter, not even sure she actually heard it since she didn’t respond.

***

Bill was pacing back and forth, trying to figure out the words he wanted to say to you. What he didn’t know was that you were just around the corner, kind of eavesdropping.

“I’ve been meaning to t-t-tell you s-s-s-something. I think I like—No! I don’t think I like you, I do like y-y-you!” Bill groaned, pinching his nose with his fingers. “Listen, ever since the kiss, I’ve had a huge c-c-crush—Jesus, I sound desperate.”

“Why do you need to practice?” You asked, walking up to Bill and mortifying him in the process.

“How much d-d-did you hear?” He sighed, thinking he blew away the chance of being sincere with his words.

“Enough.” You shrugged. “Instead of practicing, just tell her. I’m sure Bev will find you flustered-ass face adorable.” You chuckled, pinching his cheek. Bill furrowed his eyebrows, wondering why you mentioned Beverly.

“What does Beverly have to d-d-do with this?” He asked, making you confused now.

“Beverly’s the one you like, isn’t it?” You said matter-of-factly. At this point, your mind was going at one mile per hour. You’ve never noticed him show attraction to any other girl and he always seemed to treat you like a close friend, well actually more than a close friend.

“If Beverly’s the one I like, I would’ve c-c-called her here.” Bill said, waiting for you to connect the dots. You were still trying to process what had just said, until it finally clicked.

“You like m-me?” Your eyes widened as bursted out with excitement and fear.

“Uh-yeah,” Bill scratched the back of his neck. “I totally get it if you don’t like m-m-me-“

You rolled your eyes at his obliviousness and stupidity, cutting him off and smashing your lips to his. This kiss was definitely less awkward and weird as the first one, but still just as unforgettable. You broke it off after 5 seconds with a big grin on your face.

“I definitely kiss better than you do.” You breathed out.

“Shut up.”

 


	7. “She’s just too clingy”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan X Reader

     You were gathering your math textbook and notebook to put in your bookbag because you were meeting with your boyfriend, Stan, to study for a math test. Him and the losers were all you had, considering your parents never bothered to even acknowledge your existence so you spent more time at the other’s houses than your own, specifically Stan’s.

     You slung your bag over your shoulder and made your way downstairs, not even bothering to say goodbye to your mother who was very invested in the TV in front of her.

     Maybe if i say something she’ll answer? You thought to yourself, but decided against it before trying to take a step and just walked out the door instead.

     Better luck next time.

***  
     You skipped down the sidewalk, enjoying the presence of the yellow sun shining down on you as a smile was kept on your face during the journey. There were rare times when you were in a good mood and it was for certain reasons, but today you were just happy because you felt happy and you liked that feeling. You liked it a lot.

     Stan’s house was only seven minutes away so it was a short walk and the place you went to most of the time, since everyone else’s house was a bit farther than his. A smirk grew on your face as you came up with the idea to scare him by appearing from his window so you went around to the back and looked at the distance between the ground and his window. Your eyes trailed to a plastic pipe that lead right the roof as you purse your lips together.

     Looks stable enough. You thought to yourself before placing a firm grip on the pipe and climbing it to the top.

     Once you got up to the window, you noticed the window was slightly cracked open and Bill was in Stan’s room, which made you furrow your eyebrows, but the more people to help study the merrier. You were about to tap the window until you heard-

 **“She’s just too clingy.”** You heard come out of Stan’s mouth. Was he talking about you? No, that didn’t make sense, you tell each other everything.

     “But isn’t that how dating supposed to b-b-be?” Bill said, thinking his friend was being a little unfair, no very unfair. Stan just sighed and looked down at the fingers he was fiddling with. Your eyes widened as you realized they were talking about you.

     “Well, have you tried t-t-talking to her about it?” You saw Bill raise an eyebrow and Stan shake his head in response to his question.”She probably wouldn’t listen anyway.” You furrowed your eyebrows as you didn’t even notice that you were clingy, you just wanted to hang with him because you always get so lonely at home and he knew that too. But what really hit Home was the fact that he didn’t think you would understand and give him some space, even though you definitely would listen because you just wanted to feel comfortable with you.

     “S-S-So, you’re just going to b-b-break up with her?” Bill asked, making you gasp softly. Is that why he invited you to his house, to break up with you? Apparently you knew that was that case when he nodded to Bill’s question. You slumped your shoulders, feeling so embarrassed and just wanted to leave this place as soon as possible, but your legs weren’t moving. It was as if they wanted you to more, like maybe he would change his mind.

     “Isn’t that a little harsh, S-S-Stan?” Bill tilted his head. Stan shrugged, not really considering how you’d feel about it. The way you saw him shrug made him seem so careless. You were starting to consider if your relationship was one-sided all along as single tear rolled down your cheek, but you quickly wiped it away with the palm of your hand.

     “What else can I do?” He countered, stomping on the small piece of love you had left. You sniffed your running nose and wiped away another tear that fell down your face. Maybe you were too clingy. You thought to yourself. He was going to get annoyed eventually. You were still wondering why you were just sitting there listening to all of this since Stan made it very clear he didn’t feel anything for you. You gripped your bag before turning around and going back down the same way you came.

     You ran home, viciously wiping the tears going down your face because you thought it was pathetic to cry over some stupid boy who wasn’t worth your time. When you got home, you ran upstairs and completely ignored the fact that your mom and dad had actually said hello. It’s not like your parents were trying to ignore you, they just didn’t know that they were doing it. They gave each other nervous glances before your mother took a deep breath and mustered the courage to go to your room.

     She immediately heard your quiet sobs and felt a pang of guilt and sympathy. Maybe, if she had payed attention more, she’d know exactly what was going on with you. She softly knocked on the door and the sniffles abruptly stopped. There was a small sound of footsteps before you revealed yourself with puffy red eyes and a runny nose. At this moment, you forgot all the times your mother ignored you and engulfed her in a hug.

     “Mommy.” You whimpered softly into her chest. Your mother was so taken back she forgot to hug back, but luckily she did, stroking your hair.

     “Shhh, I’m here now.” She cooed. Her voice cracked as she pulled you in closer.

     Eventually you told her everything, like how you were dating Stan and how you realized that maybe he never really liked you in the first place. The first thing your mother wanted to do was rip his arm off and actually told you she would if you let her, making you chuckle and shake your head.

     “He’s not worth it.” You sniffed.

     “That’s my girl.” Your mother gave you a small smile before taking you in for another hug and told you if he doesn’t realize how special you are then he doesn’t deserve you, which boosted your esteem more than your mom thought.

***  
     You stuffed your history book in your bag as quickly as possible because you had avoided Stan and the Losers all day and you knew they would try and ask you what happened, but annoyingly your book was being an asshole as you crushed it in your bag. You glanced up to see if any of the losers were approaching you and you sighed since it looked like there wasn’t a single loser in sig-

     “(Y/N)?” It seemed you didn’t look behind you to check if a loser was approaching you and to make matters even worse, it was the last loser you wanted to see.           

     Stan.

     You closed your eyes, hoping that you would miraculously teleport home and wouldn’t be in the predicament you were in. Unfortunately, it didn’t work as you were still at school, next to your locker with the boy who broke your heart. You slowly turned around and came face to face with him, but still avoided eye contact.

     “Where were you yesterday? I thought we were going to study for Salazar’s test.” He asked, managing to piss you off on levels you didn’t think you could get to. You huffed and turned back to stuffing-no, slamming things into your bag.

     “Didn’t think you’d want me there.” You muttered, keeping your eyes on your locker, putting things in your bag that didn’t need to. Stan raised an eyebrow, oblivious to what was going on with you since you never have shown it before.

     “Is something wrong?” He asked, making you scoff and harshly zip up your overfilled bag. If you weren’t in school right now, you’d probably punch him in the face and just leave him there, but you were better than that.

     “You know what Stan? I’m done with this, so now you don’t have to worry about me being too clingy anymore, okay? You got your wish.” You slung your bag and made small sniffle, inwardly cursing yourself for showing emotion.

     Stan felt his mouth go dry as he heard your words and immediately the waves a guilt wash over him. It wasn’t until now that he realized how you would feel about his decision and hadn’t expected it to play out that way it was. You, on the other hand were waiting for something that he could say that might change things, but he just stood there and said nothing.

     “Maybe if you just talked to me, I would’ve understood.” You slammed your locker and walked away, wiping another tear that tried to come down and leaving Stan took at you with a speechless expression.


	8. Interruptions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie x Eddie

     Eddie was getting tired. Tired of waiting for something he was starting to believe wasn’t going to happen. It was a feeling he wanted to get rid of, but couldn’t until what was supposed to happen, happened. Eddie didn’t know why what he wanted to happen was taking such a long time, but he was also really confused about it. Maybe, he was supposed to do it, was he? Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you! Eddie’s worried about prom, specifically when his boyfriend, Richie, is going to ask him to it.

     The big dance was only two weeks away and Richie hadn’t even brought it up once. Eddie made up a plethora of reasons in his head as to why he hadn’t asked him, but they still never seemed to make sense. He knew the curly-haired boy wasn’t the type of person to go to events like this, but this is prom we’re talking about, you just have to go whether you want to or not, at least that’s what Eddie thinks.

     “He’s probably planning something big.” Beverly shrugged, keeping her hands on the steering wheel of her beat up pickup truck. Eddie sat in the passenger's seat, leaning on the window with his head tilted back. He scoffed at Beverly’s excuse for an answer, knowing Richie Tozier is not a romantic.

     “Are we talking about the same Richie who wrote ‘congratulations, you’re one year closer to death!’ on the birthday card he made for me on my fifteenth birthday?” Eddie raised an eyebrow, turning to Beverly who still had her blue eyes focused on the road in front of her.

     “At least you got a full sentence!” She exclaimed. “Mine just said ‘yay!” Eddie sighed and looked back to the window to see his house coming into full view. Beverly noticed it to as she turned into the small driveway of the suburban home. She pulled the gear shift forward to put the car in park as Eddie took of his seatbelt and grabbed his book bag from below him.

     “Just wait Eds, he’ll come around.” Beverly gave him a remorseful smile, taking out a cigarette from her pack and putting it in-between her lips.

      “Thanks Bev.” Eddie slung his bag over his shoulder, but froze when he saw what he calls ‘the cancer giver’ in-between the red-haired girl’s lips. “What did I say about that?” He pointed towards the cigarette.

     “I won’t light it!” The girl put her hands up in defense, causing Eddie to look at her in disbelief, but turned around nonetheless to his house. “When you’re around.” Beverly muttered, a little to loudly since Eddie replied with “I heard that!” Beverly chuckled and started her engine before driving off to her house.

     Eddie was immediately greeted by his mother who was sitting in her favourite chair, watching some weird soap opera she loved. Sometimes, he wished his mother was asleep or some shit so he wouldn’t have to answer the questions she asked everyday when he came from school, but what could he expect from having arguably the strictest mom in all of Derry, Maine.

     “Hey Eddie-bear, how was school?” She asked, keeping her eyes on the small TV in front of her. Eddie cringed at the nickname she had for him, it only reminded him that, to his mom, he was still a little kid to her, despite being seventeen years of age.

      “It was fine ma,” he mumbled, fidgeting uncomfortably at the situation he was in.

     “Did you remember to take your pills?” She asked, making Eddie roll his eyes. He had known his pills were placebos since he was fourteen and confronted his mother about it too, but when he found out he actually had allergies to dust and pollen, his mother always that excuse to get him to keep taking the medicine. At this point, he doesn’t even know which of his pills are real and which aren’t.

     “Uh huh.” Eddie nodded, slowly trailing towards the staircase, Sonia Kaspbrak noticed this, and gave a slight frown, but decided to end the conversation and turned her full attention back to the soap opera. Eddie raced up the stairs to his safe place and locked the door behind him before collapsing onto his twin bed. The first thing he wanted to do was sleep, letting eye flutter shut and start to drift away from reality.

     Tap! Tap! Tap!

     Fucking hell.

     Eddie shot up from his bed and walked over to window to find the one and only trashmouth himself. The brown-eyed beauty motioned for Eddie to open the window, making him snort at how cliche he was being but slid up his window nonetheless.

     “Y’know there’s this thing called the front door?” Eddie smirked, resting on the opening of his window.

     “Been there, done that.” Richie waved his hand, crawling through the window, causing Eddie to move out of the way. Richie dusted himself off before walking over to Eddie and towering over him. Eddie hated when he did this because he literally has to tilt his head up to look him. Richie, of course loved doing it because it amplified Eddie’s cute small frame and he could rested his head on Eddie’s like a cheesy romance movie.

     “What are you doing here?” Eddie asked, having to tilt his head up like he always did.

     “I’m here to see your mom of course, she wanted to continue what we started last night.” Richie jokes, earning an eye roll from the smaller boy.

     “She told me about it, she said you were terrible.” Eddie replied sarcastically. Richie gasped and small step back, placing his hand over his heart as if he was offended.

     “The student becomes the master!” Richie exclaimed.

     “But seriously, what are you doing here?” Eddie walked over to his bed, knowing Richie would follow him. 

     “I have an important question to ask you.” Richie slumped into the bed, making it crease under his weight. Eddie’s stomach fluttered as he realized what he was going to ask him. At this point, he didn’t care if the gesture was big or small, or even if it was a homemade card that had some painfully sexual joke, he just wanted to go to Prom with Richie.

     “What is it?” Eddie smiled, taking Richie’s fingers and fiddling with them. It was a habit he didn’t know he got into, but didn’t want to get out of either.

     “I was wondering if you wanted to-”

     “Yes.” Eddie answered immediately, shooting up from his bed only to lock eyes with a confused Richie. Did Stan already tell him that I wanted to take him to New York? Richie rolled his eyes and made a mental note to kill Stan later.

     “At least I didn’t have to try and convince you.” Richie thought out loud. Eddie giggled, started shaking Richie’s shoulders a little to harshly. Once Eddie let go, Richie gave them a little massage, wondering how so much strength can come from such a small boy.

     “Should we colour coordinate?” Eddie asked, earning a confused look from Richie once again.

     “Colour coordinate?” Richie questioned, but Eddie didn’t seem to hear him.

     “It might be on short notice, but we could get a limo!” He exclaimed, getting Richie confused by the second. It’s almost as if Eddie thought Richie was taking him to-

     “Eddie where do you think I’m taking you?” Richie asked, getting up from his spot to ask the now, pacing Eddie. The boy finally stopped, tilting his head up and smiling at his boyfriend.

     “What? Are you not taking me to prom?” Eddie chuckled, but stopped when he noticed Richie’s blank expression. “Rich?” Eddie furrowed his eyebrows.

     “Eds, I can’t take you to prom if we’re going t-” Richie was cut off when Eddie tore himself away from Richie, asking himself why he’s so stupid.

     “You know what Richard.” Eddie sneered. “I’ve been waiting for prom for awhile now and I’ve been patient as fuck!” He squeaked. Richie had to stifle his laugh, knowing it wasn’t a good time. “I know you don’t like going to things like it, but can’t we just go! For me, at least!”

     “Eds-”

     “Don’t Eds me!” Eddie snapped. Richie was taken back, but couldn’t help but realize how hot Eddie looked when he was mad, even though it was really a bad time. He grabbed Eddie’s wrist and spun him towards himself, their lips just barely brushed each other’s and Eddie almost forgot why he was mad at Richie. Richie placed both his hands on each side of Eddie’s cheeks, pressing the together and making Eddie look like a pufferfish.

     “Eddie.” Richie spoke softly.

     “What?” Eddie said, muffled by the fact Richie was pressing his cheeks together.

     “I’m not taking you to prom because I wanted to take you to New York with me.” Richie smiled, making Eddie’s eyes widen.

     “Oh shit, really?” Eddie exclaimed.

     “Yeah, but if you don’t want to go then I’ll cancel the trip and we can just go to pr-”

     “Fuck prom! New York is better!” Eddie took Richie’s hands off his cheeks and placed them in his own hands.

     “You really need to let me finish my fucking sentences before you jump to conclusions.” 


	9. A Surprising Letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan x Reader (not a followup to clingy, I'll write that later)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys want to request, I'll take those. No OC's I don't wrote about real people, sorry.

     Being insecure in Derry, Maine was a horrible thing to experience, especially in the halls of Derry Middle School. You were constantly bullied, being judged on your looks, size and personality with the biggest insult being you looked like a boy. You never intended to look like one, you just felt more comfortable in baggy clothes, but apparently it was considered boyish to wear them. All the insults really pushed down your self esteem as you had no friends to help you feel better, even the support from your parents wasn’t enough.

     If anyone ever got the chance to know you, they would figure out that you were actually really fun to hang out with, but no one wanted to take the chance, except for one boy.

     Stanley Uris was in only in two of your classes, and his eyes were never on the lessons, they were always on you because what others didn’t notice that he did, was the little ‘cute’ things you did. Like how you’d take off your hood to scratch your hair whenever you were frustrated. There was also the time he watched you ride off on your bike when school ended and how your eyes lit up, like they were being freed. And how you would bite your lip when you were concentrated on something which drove the boy crazy. And overall, he always wondered how someone so pretty could be treated so poorly and was really curious as to how you take the insult, because it never really seemed to bother you. On the outside.

     The school day on Wednesday was normal for you. There was the occasional comment on what you were wearing which was some baggy sweatpants and a hooded sweater and your hair was covered by the hoodie and the only makeup you had on was lip balm. Then there was childish gestures from others such as dropping your books and tugging on your hoodie during first period. Stan, of course, took notice of all of this and wanted to do something about it, but he didn’t know how to approach you since he’s never talk to you before.

     He spent all of second period thinking of ways to tell you what others say are false statements. It wasn’t until a bell rang in his head that he had an idea, and spent the whole lunch writing it down. If he couldn’t speak to you, he could try writing, couldn’t he?

     “Hey Stan, what are you doing?” Richie asked, sitting in front of his friend at their table in the cafeteria. All the losers were wondering why the boy wasn’t joining in the conversation or doing his trademark eye roll at something Richie had said.

     “None of your business.” Stan muttered, not even sparing a glance at his outspoken friend. Richie huffed and leaned over to see what the boy was so invested in doing, but Stan didn’t even need to look up and jerked the paper away to set it on his lap.

     “Are you writing a love letter?” Richie’s eyes widened, while a big grin spread on his face. Stan felt heat rush up to his cheeks, turning them into a dark red colour which made Richie’s eyes widened even more.

     “You are!” He gasped, shooting up from his seat, flipping Eddie’s tray and making his food spill everywhere.

     “What the fuck Richie! Are you kidding me right now?!” The germaphobe fumed, harshly pulling down Richie’s arm and making him sit down.

     “Who is it?” Bill asked, suddenly invested in the conversation and leaning forward in his seat.

     “It’s no one,” Stan shrugged, finally looking up from his letter, but only for a millisecond and going right back to writing.

     “Some parent named their child ‘no one?’ They obviously didn’t like their child.” Richie replied sarcastically, earning an eye roll from Stan.

     “But seriously, who is it Stan?” Ben cut in, after finishing his mini conversation with Beverly.

     “Wait, what are we talking about?” Beverly asked, snapping out of her dozed off state.

     “Stan has a c-c-crush.” Bill explained, curling his lips into a smirk.

     “I do not!” Stan replied quickly. “There’s this girl who was being bullied and I’m just writing down things that’ll make her feel better, that’s it.”

     “Why don’t you just talk to her?” Eddie asked, rubbing his hands with hand sanitizer because of the spill. Stan shrunk into himself and kept quiet because he didn’t tell the losers he was too afraid to actually approach her, and the fact he was 99% sure Richie would call him a pussy.

     “How about we just let Stan do it his way?” Beverly cut in, saving Stan from the embarrassment. He mouthed ‘thank you,’ as Beverly replied with a wink. Thankfully, everyone went back to what they were doing, leaving Stan alone.

     “What bullshit. If I wanted to get a girl, I’d walk up to her and say ‘hey, wanna fuck?” Richie boasted.

     “No wonder, you don’t have a g-g-girlfriend.”

     “Fuck off, Bill!”

***

     Stan had planted his note in your locker five minutes before lunch ended, hoping you’d read it when school ended so he wouldn’t look suspicious walking away from your locker. The second class you both had in the afternoon was History, and once again, instead of listening to the lesson about World War II, he was staring at you, noticing the small strands of hair sticking out of your hoodie. He wondered if you ever brushed your hair, or just hid it inside your hoodie because you were too lazy to.

     You felt a pair of eyes gazing in your direction and immediately felt uncomfortable and assumed it was someone silently judging you again, it was normal for you to feel this way as you could easily find five things wrong with how just your eyes were positioned on your face, but that’s just the perks of being insecure. You turned around and scanned the room to find the culprit until they landed on the boy whipping his gaze away from you. Stanley Uris, you think his name was as you remembered he was in the infamous group known as ‘the losers club.’ You admired his group of friends as they embraced who they were, something you had a hard time doing, but it looked liked he was secretly judging you too, making you sigh and turn around. Looks like you were the ultimate loser if even someone on your popularity level is judging you too.

*** (time skip, brought to you by Eddie’s Gazebos)

     The end of the school day finally came and Stan was waiting just down the hall in anticipation for you to open your locker. You had finally arrived at the destination, completely done with life, sighing at the fact that you got another miserable day over with. You did your same old combination, hearing the small clicking sound it made as you opened your locker. A piece of white paper that looked it was ripped out from a notebook fell from the top shelf of it. You furrowed your eyebrows in curiosity, knowing that you hadn’t put it there and was hesitant to open it, assuming it was someone calling you something derogatory.

     Stan bounced up and down in anxiety and anticipation, waiting for you to open the heart-felt note. “C’mon, c’mon.” He muttered, fidgeting even more by the second. He also mentally cursed himself for signing his name, knowing you would confront him about it and he really wasn’t ready to come face to face with you.

     You took a deep breath and shut your eyes, before opening each eyelid one by one and reading the note.

      _Dear (Y/N),_

_Open your eyes, you are not made up of those words that hurt you. Or that number on the scale. Or the expectations that you feel you will never meet. You are made up of nothing more than you. You are a lovely mysterious soul. An individually interesting soul of thoughts, ideas and feelings. It’s hard to find someone as beautiful as you._

_Love, Stanley Uris_

_PS, don’t forget to smile._

     You felt a rollercoaster of emotions as you re-read each words like ‘interesting,’ ‘beautiful,’ and ‘lovely.’ For the first time in a long time, your lips curled up, revealing a subtle smile that Stan could still see from a few meters away. He felt proud of himself, knowing that his new favourite thing to see was your smile.

     Your eyes trailed down to the name, Stanley Uris, the guy who had been looking at you during History. Maybe that’s why he was looking at you, not because he was disgusted, but because he was interested. You held the note to your chest, blinking back the happy tears you were developing. It was the first time you’ve ever heard a compliment that didn’t come from your parents. You knew you had to thank the boy for the gesture, but didn’t know where you could find him. You looked around and almost instantaneously, your eyes met his, and Stan panicked as he had been spotted. You smiled a little more and waved at him, getting him flustered as fuck as he stood there with a speechless look until his brain started working again and he waved back. You motioned for him to come over, keeping the new smile on your face and Stan blinked quickly before slowly walking over to you.

     “Your Stanley, right?” You asked with your piercing (e/c) eyes staring into his dark brown ones.

     “YeAh.” His voice cracked. Real smooth, Stan.

     “You wrote this then?” You raised your eyebrows. Stan didn’t want to talk again, knowing his voice would crack out of nervousness so he just nodded.

     “Why?”

     Fuck, now he has to talk!

     “Well-uh-umm. You were being treated poorly and you didn’t have any friends-“ Stan actually slapped himself over the head, inwardly cursing himself. “-I mean, you seemed lonely, and probably needed someone to help you out, so I-uh, I wrote that.” He choked out, surprised he got as far as he did.

     “So you meant every word you wrote?” You asked, as your heart warmed with each word he said.

     “Yeah, yeah I did.” He shrugged.

     “Thank you,” You said with tears welling up in your eyes. Just the way you said it made Stan’s heart melt as it sounded like something empty was just being filled with joy and it made Stan want to cry, weirdly.

     “Your welco-“ He was cut off by you engulfing him in a tight hug. It was such a swift movement, your hood fell off and revealed your hair which was so soft that Stan couldn’t help but stroke it.

     “Wanna hang out with me and friends after school?” He asked, breaking off the hug. All of this was so overwhelming for you, but in a good way since you might finally get the chance to have friends.

     “I’d love to.”

 

 


	10. "Let’s do something else”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill X Stan

     Stan was reaching all new levels of frustration. He didn’t understand why something had to be so difficult and confusing at the same time. For a good five minutes, he just stared down at his lap, flipping the pages over and back, wondering if all knowledge would just flow into him like a soft crystal blue wave. Instead, anger flowed into him like a harsh tsunami right before he shot out of his twin bed, throwing the book on it.

     “FUCK!” He shouted, before covering his mouth because of the fact his mother was right downstairs. Coming from a Jewish family, swearing was absolutely not tolerated in his household. Lord knows what his mother would do to him if she heard. His father would be even worse, but luckily he wasn’t home.

     “What was that, Stanley?” His mother called from downstairs, but luckily for Stan, she sounded oblivious to what he had said. Stan sighed, squeezing his eyes shut and running a hand through his mop of curls.

     “Nothing, mom!” He called back, letting a rush of chills run through his body.

     “I don’t understand how you’re so p-p-perplexed by this?” Bill raised an eyebrow with a knowing smirk attached to his face. If he was being honest, it was quite to see his calm, cool and collected boyfriend throw such a fit. Stan is always so put together, never showing a hint of raw emotion around others, sometimes even Bill, excluding occasional eye rolls when Richie wouldn’t shut his fucking mouth. Seeing all this anger burst out was pretty amusing to watch and undeniably hot.

     “What’s the point of History? They’re all dead anyway.” Stan rolled his eyes, slumping back onto the bed and lazily putting his history textbook back on his lap. Bill chuckled, rotating his chair next to Stan’s desk right to left.

     “Have you ever heard the saying ‘those who don’t know history are doomed to r-r-repeat it?” Bill asked, getting out of his seat to sit next to Stan on his bed with his textbook in hand.

     “No, because I don’t pay attention. It’s the period I use to catch up on my sleep in.” Stan answered matter-of-factly, pushing his hands back on the bed for support.

     “I can’t imagine why you’re failing th-then?” Bill countered with sarcasm dripping from his lips. The part that hit Stan the hardest was that almost got through the whole sentence without stuttering.

     Stan wasn’t failing per se. To Stan, failing was getting an eighty-five person on a quiz, not even a full out test. High expectations were set for the boy and failing to meet them was not an option. This annoyed the rest of the losers club as they were also a pretty smart group, but getting mid-eighties on a quiz wasn’t a disappointment, it was an achievement, not for Stanley Uris though.

     “Technically, I’m not failing. I’m just not doing as well as I could be.” Stan argued, picking up the history book one again, opening it and skimming through the words on the page. He wasn’t even really reading them, I mean, they were going through his brain, but nothing was processing inside of it.

     “Well, that’s not good enough for your p-p-parents.” Bill shrugged, still trying to grasp how Stan’s parent’s mindset worked. Bill himself wasn’t even that great in History, in his own eyes either, but he was better than Stanley. He thought maybe teaching it to someone else would help him, and he would also do anything for his boyfriend.

     “Maybe, if I get something out of this, I’ll probably pass this test then.” Stan put the history book down, knowing nothing was getting to him, plus playing around with his boyfriend was much better than homework.

     Bill wasn’t even really paying attention, only responding with a “mmhm,” while still looking down at the textbook. Stan huffed at the sight of this, but he wasn’t a person who would give up easily. It was in his genes, he came from a family of people like that and he’s no different.

     Stan’s fingers trailed along the pages of Bill’s textbook, blocking the blue-eyed boy’s view of the paragraph he was reading. Bill grew annoyed, flicking Stan’s hands away from his sight, saying “We’re s-s-supposed to be studying.”

     It didn’t phase the boy though as Stan leaned forward to Bill’s face, letting his warm breath brush against Bill’s cheeks. Stan’s hands trailed over to Bill’s jawline, turning his head on Stan’s direction. Bill was rather annoyed, but it was quickly washed away at the close proximity he was with the boy beside him. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t flustered.

     “ **Let’s do something else**.” Stan said in a low tone, a course of jitters spread through Bill’s body like a wildfire. The last time he was like this was their first kiss together which felt like so long ago when he thinks about it now. They never really had the chance to be alone after that without the fear of the chance someone could be watching them, but it didn’t make Bill want to do it again any less.

     “Like what?” Bill whispered since the other boy’s face was literally one inch away from his. Stan brought his hand up and rested it on Bill’s left cheek, letting his thumb caress his cheekbone and bringing their faces closer together. It was a little too slow for Bill’s liking as he knew he really couldn’t control himself around Stan.

     “Maybe eat some ice cream, I guess.” Stan immediately pulled away from the almost-kiss, leaving an unsatisfied Bill with a red face. It’s not Stan’s first time pulling this stunt, in fact, it’s one of Stan’s favourite things to do since it drives Bill crazy. Bill himself, still doesn’t know why he falls for it every time. Maybe, it’s just because Bill can’t help but get lost in Stan’s pulsing brown eyes or the anticipation of running his hands through his tangled up curls.

     “Goddamnit.” Bill muttered, rubbing his hands on his face to try and fix his tomato face.

     “So, what topic of this unit do you want to start on?” Stan asked as if he didn’t just try to seduce the blue-eyed boy just a second ago. Bill pursed his lips, internally rolling his eyes, but picked up his textbook nonetheless.

     That is, until his stomach gurgled, causing Bill to instinctively press his hand to it. “You know, I could actually go for ice cream.” Stan looked at him in disbelief, but obliged when he decided it wasn't that bad of an idea.

     “MOM!” Stan called out, waiting for a response. About five seconds, she comprehended that her son was calling her.

     “Yes Stanley?” She called back, the sound of her voice echoed through the halls and eventually got to the two boys.

     “Could we get some ice cream?!” He threw his back, shouting lazily. However, Bill rolled his eyes at how Stan was too lazy to actually get up and go downstairs himself. He grunted as he pushed himself up from the bed.

     “Could you b-b-be more laz-” Bill’s sentence was cut off when he tripped over one of the legs from the chair. His hand slapped the desk as he fell down. It felt like a bunch of fireworks set off in it, but not in a good way.

     Stan’s eyes widened as he laughed hysterically, bending over to contain his laughter and holding his stomach for even more support. Bill rolled over to back with a dazed look on his face, groaning at the fact there were small throbbing pains coming from every part his body and the fact that Stan was there, laughing there was no tomorrow.

      “A-A-Are you okay?” Stan choked out through his laughter. Bill couldn’t even be mad as he smiled along with a small chuckle escaping his mouth.

     “Yeah, just broke my ankle a little bit. Just a l-l-little bit.” Bill deadpanned as Stan reached out his hand to help his boyfriend up. Bill had other plans though, using full force to drag Stanley down with him on the ground with him.

      Stanley yelped, landing right on top of Bill with their hands still locked together. Both of them let out breathless chuckles since the wind was literally knocked out of them, but it soon died down when they noticed their closeness. They somehow managed to be closer than before.

      Bill took the time to get lost Stan’s eyes like before. With such a common colour like brown eyes, Stan’s seemed so _unique_ , it as like the were different shades of brown instead of one, mixing together to create a beautiful more hazel colour.

     They were _beautiful_.

     He took no hesitation this time, Bill’s eyes flickering down to Stan’s lips with a look of lust painted over his face. He lifted his head, closing the gap between them.

     Stan let a gasp, but it was sealed shut with the kiss. It didn’t take time for him to kiss back though, he wanted to do it as much as Bill ever since the first one. Their hands broke away from each other as Bill ran it through Stan’s curls, an experience he didn’t think he needed to feel until now. Stan’s hand went to the back of Bill’s neck to being his head back softly to the ground before deepening the kiss further.

     It was a soft moment that they know they would never forget. It was unspoken, but they knew it was better than the first one, though the first kiss isa special one that has more sentimental value. This kiss was out of pure lust to feel the spark like before, and it’s certain that the two boys got it again.

     “Is everything okay up there?” Stan’s mom called out with a hint of worry sprinkled in her voice. Stan was the one to break away first, snapping his head the door and trying to hear something resembling footsteps. Fortunately, he heard none, but got off of Bill nonetheless. He concluded that his mother must’ve been alerted from the loud sound of the fall and the laughter that followed right after it.

     “Yeah!” Stan shouted back before turning his head back to a grinning Bill. The sight made him chuckle as Bill also picked himself from off the ground. Stan knows he enjoyed that.

     “How about that ice cream?” Stan suggested, reaching his hand out, jokingly not acknowledging what just happened, but Bill played along nonetheless.

     “I’m down.”


	11. “She infected you! Messed up your mind!” Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie x Reader

        Eddie flopped on his twin bed with a dopey grin, satisfied with the plan he managed to carry out today. He really didn’t think he would be able to pull it off with the copious amount of planning and coordination, and that fact everything was supposed to happen on time, but your fifth-month anniversary had to be special. Right?

        It started at the quarry, of course, since it was where you both first met and got acquainted at the mere age thirteen, before you were introduced to Pennywise, the clown that still gives the whole club nightmares even two years later. Then, he took you to your private spot that you both had found while running away from Henry Bowers. The place is so secret that the losers didn’t even know about it, it was only yours and Eddie’s spot that you marked by carving your initials into an oak tree that acted as a sort of guardian to that area.

        Eddie had set up a picnic, something he was reluctant to do because of the number of insects and bacteria that came with an semi-open field, but he knew how much you loved nature and seeing the smile on your face was enough for him.

        The last stop was the barrens where you had the blood oath with the rest of your friends. You took the time to examine each others cuts, before intertwining them as you rested your head on Eddie’s shoulder.

        However, the best part was when he dropped you off at your house. Eddie didn’t know where the sudden burst of courage came from, but he knew he had to after seeing your glowing figure and bright doe eyes, illuminated by the glittering moonlight. You both looked at each other as if you were falling in love for the first time, but in all honesty that was how it felt like every single time.

        The feeling of lust coursed through Eddie’s body as he leaned into your personal space, before pressing a soft lingering kiss to your right cheek. He’s been wanting to do that ever since he confessed to you, but the fear of germs clouded his judgement, which meant that was really your first kiss as a couple. You respected the germaphobe’s reluctance pretty easily since kissing wasn’t something you were eager to do, in fact, you found it quite weird, though you still haven’t kissed anybody yet.

        He can’t really see it as of now, but your cheeks are still scarlet and you haven’t stopped touching it. You were beyond convinced that he managed to make your cheek softer by kissing it, but you didn’t rub it to hard, being afraid you might wear it off if you kept touching it.

        It was unspoken, but that night was yours and Eddie’s favourite day.

        A knock interrupted Eddie’s thoughts as his head shot up to the entrance of his small room. A state of panic overwhelmed him since he didn’t change out of the clothes he wore for the date he went on with you. Of course he needed to dress to impress and it didn’t exactly look like home attire. There was also the fact his hair didn’t dry up from the quarry because he put everything on a schedule and he didn’t have time to dry up if he wanted to get home on time.

        “Eddie? Why are your lights still on? It’s past your bedtime.” Sonia Kaspbrak asked, leaning against the cold wooden door while her hand twisted the silver doorknob of her son’s bedroom. Eddie heard the jiggling, alerting him to immediately change out of his clothes, but still took the time to cringe at the fact that he had a bedtime. At fifteen years of age, he didn’t think he would need one and his mother would finally let him grow up, but unfortunately he still has one and it annoys the hell out of him.

        “I was just organizing my bag for school next week!” Eddie announced, vigorously untying his shoelaces and slipping them off. The action was so harsh though, the momentum sent his shoe flying to hit the back of his closet wall, letting out a loud thump as his eyes widened and flickered towards the door which sounded like someone was trying to pick a lock.

        “Eddie? Are you okay?” The older woman hollered, unlocking the door and bursting in. Her expression changed from worried to confused as she looked at her fully dressed son. Eddie, on the other hand, froze in fear, wondering how he was going to explain this predicament to his mother. He has lied many times before to the lady, most of them being the fact he was going out with you and he knew she would never approve of your relationship, but it was never in the heat of the moment, it was always planned. Acting under pressure wasn’t his thing, in fact it was yours and right now he wishes you were right next to him with his hand intertwined with his as you smoothly handled the situation.

        “Why are you dressed like this?” Sonia questioned, then glanced to the open window that Eddie had to climb through so he wouldn’t get caught. Her eyes then flickered to his damp hair that were slightly curled due to the humid air outside. It was like she was doing a silent interrogation as Eddie stood there awkwardly, waiting in anticipation for the worst. Maybe if he hadn’t spent the free time daydreaming about his day with you, he wouldn’t have to go through this. But he really couldn’t help it, there wasn’t a single day Eddie went without thinking about you and every one of your perfect features.

        “Did you-did you sneak out?” Her eyes widened, not even wanting to believe her own words, but Eddie’s silence answered her question. Her new question was why? What could possibly be going on at night that urged the ‘small’ boy to sneak out? Many theories came to her mind, the biggest one being the losers club, considering those were the only friends he had. Then her mind flickered to you, she hated you most, thinking you had the intent of stealing her son away from her. It may not seem like it, but she’s a very observant woman. She notices how close you and him stand next to each other, or how his face turns a dark shade of red when your hand brushes against his, or even the way you look at him and the way he looks at you. She saw lust, infatuation, admiration and most of all, love. It made her sick and she was convinced you were trying to make Eddie sick too.

        “Ma, I j-just had to-”

        “You’re stuttering on your words Eddie.” She threatened. It obviously didn’t really seem like a threat, but the fire in her eyes and the acidity of her voice said otherwise. Eddie gulped, looking at his mother in pure terror. Despite being stronger than he looks, he’s very easy to crack and that’s the one advantage his mother has on him, his vulnerability.

        “I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me the absolute truth.” She marched over to Eddie’s shaking body and took his hands in hers which only sealed the deal that he wanted to be holding your hands instead of his mother’s. Your hands were warm and soft to the touch, they provided safety and comfortability for him, and his mother’s felt cold and rough, providing a unwanted dominance from them.

        Eddie’s eyes shot up to his mother’s, but he immediately looked away from the intense stare she had planted on him. It was really the only way he could get away with lying, avoiding her gaze, but he knew with absolute certainty his mother would never allow it. Eddie squeezed his eyes shut before opening them once again and staring directly into Sonia Kaspbrak’s eyes.

        “Did you go out with your friends?” She interrogated. Eddie shook his head, letting out a small breath of relief that he technically didn’t lie to her, you weren’t his friend, you were his girlfriend which are two different things. His mother searched his eyes for a sense of dishonesty, but she didn’t find any. However, she didn’t stop because if her observations were right about you and Eddie, she knew the boy wouldn’t refer to you as a friend.

        “Did you go out with-with (Y/N)?” Her voice turned to poison as she spit out your name. Eddie cringed at the use of your name being said as if you were some kind of demon. You were the complete opposite in Eddie’s chocolate brown eyes, to him you were an angel and it would explain the fact that you seemed to have a halo around your head whenever you approached him, like a guardian angel. He didn’t know how his mother failed to see that, the fact that you wouldn’t, how Sonia would say, ‘ _infect_ ’ a thing.

        “I-uh, I-” Eddie stammered to tell the truth, because he knew if he did, you wouldn’t be allowed to see him anymore. He really couldn’t imagine his world without you in it, his partner in crime, the reason he goes anywhere with a smile, besides the loser’s club of course. It just seems unreal to be having this conversation with his mother, wishing he could go back in time and stop fucking daydreaming about you. The silence, unfortunately again, answered Sonia’s question as she took a step back and gasped dramatically like she was in a soap opera. ‘She needs to stop fucking watching those.” Eddie’s thoughts spoke inside his mind.

        **“She _infected_ you! Messed up your mind!” ** There she goes with that word again, _infected_. You’re not a fucking disease and even if you were, Eddie would be more than happy to be infected by you, especially if it meant feeling the emotions he did.

        “Ma, no! I’m completely fine, the only thing I’ve really done was kiss her cheek!” Eddie exclaimed, but his eyes widened in realization to what he had said, pulling his hand over his mouth. It was Sonia’s turn to cringe in disgust to her sons words. The possibilities of what you might’ve done to Eddie were endlessly roaming around her mind and she was considering every single one of them.

        “You did what?” She sneered, her disgust turned to rage and worry. Eddie can’t believe he had fucked up that badly, knowing there was no turning back at this point. If only he knew how to keep his mouth shut like you when talking was a horrible option.

        “I mean-uh, I-um” Goddamit, why couldn’t he speak. Bill would be better at this then him right now and he’s the one with the stutter, not Eddie. He prayed silently that a burst a confidence would well up inside him like it did when he kissed you.

        “Have you...done things with her?” She accused, gripping Eddie’s shoulders and inspecting him for anything that she could lead with. Eddie grimaced at the thought of doing any of the things his mother was considering and even if he wanted to, which he absolutely doesn’t, he wouldn’t take advantage of you and there’s the fact that he’s only fifteen fucking years old. The only boy that came to his mind, that would probably want to is Richie.

        “No! Absolutely not, she isn’t like that. I promise!” It was rare when Eddie made a promise, the most prominent one being the blood oath, but other than that, there was no list. He would make a promise for you though, if it meant you would still be with him, he’d make that promise with no second guessing. That didn’t disrupt his mother’s thought process though, she wasn’t letting you infect her son anymore.

        “You will not talk to her, under any circumstance. Not even at school.” She stated, harshly holding up Eddie’s chin with her hands. The boy whimpered in disbelief as everything felt like it was shattering around him. You were his anchor and he would sink into hopelessness without you. There’s was also your reaction to this whole situation, would you be mad at Eddie for spilling the secret? Would you go into the same state he was entering? Just seeing you with a frown breaks Eddie’s heart, he doesn’t know what he’d feel to see you in a full blown cryfest since he’s been fortunate not to see it, but of course he might experience it for himself because of his mother.

        “Mom, please. I c-can’t-.” His bottom lip quivered as tears brimmed her eyes. Sonia softened her demeanor, but it was because her son was crying not because she was considering her overall decision.

        “Eddie-Bear, she’s making you cry. You’re feeling this way because of her. This is what’s best for you.” She cooed, bringing Eddie in for a hug while stroking his hair. Eddie’s small sobs became louder, wanting to be in your embrace as you stroked his hair, not his mother. But you weren’t here, and according to Sonia, you might never be again.

***

        Eddie only got two hours of sleep last night since he spent most of the night sobbing into his pillow. His eyes were red and puffy, his usual perfectly cleaned hair was a curled mess and his pressed clothes were wrinkly considering he didn’t change out of them.

        His mother said that they would be going to your house to break off the months-long relationship that you and Eddie had managed to maintain. The heartbreak was so bad that he could physically feel the pain on his left chest, it was that bad. Everytime he closed his eyes, he saw you all alone with hot tears streaming down your cheeks as you ran your fingers through your hair with utter pain, sitting on the floor while you rocked back and forth. He wanted to run to you in that day dream, wrap his arms around you, whispering that everything was going to be okay, but each time he ran, he seemed to be drifting farther away from you.

        “Eddie!” His mother called out from downstairs. Eddie’s eyes trailed to the door, looking at it as if his mother was standing right there, in pure disgust and anger. She said all the pain he’s feeling is because of you, but she couldn’t be more wrong because it’s all her fault. Eddie never knew he could feel so much outrage for one person and he definitely wouldn’t think his mother would be that person, but that’s what being a teenager in love does to him.

        Eddie changed out of his clothes, carelessly throwing them away which is something he never does, and changes into, coincidentally your favourite outfit on him, his infamous red short shorts and yellow collared shirt. Maybe, he didn’t realize it, but it would probably break your heart to see him in that. What if you thought he was intentionally trying to make you feel the same way he feels now? Unfortunately, that thought never crossed his mind as he opened his door and lazily trudged down the staircase.

        He went passed his mother like a robot, not even cracking a small smile, but his mother doesn’t deserve to see him happy, that’s what Eddie thinks at least. Even the drive to your house was restrained, it usually was but this time there was tension in the air, a tension that Sonia noticed but didn’t comment on. She does think that after this though, all things will go back to normal and she won’t have to go through the worry of her son falling for someone who would infect him like you.

        Your house wasn’t very far, it was just at the end of the cul de sac, but Eddie was going to the hospital right after the breakup to get x-rayed for anything that could lead to something affecting his health, even though he doesn’t need a fucking x-ray. He also knew that today you were working at your job in the diner so there could be a chance that you wouldn’t be home and he could warn you about this and figure something out.

        Eddie unbuckled his seatbelt and followed his mother to your porch. He fiddled with his fingers as anxiety bubbled up inside him while the same daydream of you crying on the floor replayed in his mind. Sonia reached out and ringed the doorbell, causing a ripple of echos to branch out in your household. Soon enough, your little sister opened the door with a bright smile on her face. The eight-year-old’s smile grew wider as she saw Eddie looking down at her with a small smile.

        “Hey Abby.” He croaked out, considering he didn’t talk in the morning at all. Abby expressed confusion since Eddie never sounded like this, his voice was always clear and pretty high for a fifteen-year-old boy, but she shrugged it off, running to hug his mid-waist. Eddie hugged back almost immediately, smiling wider than before. He knew that this was probably the only time today he would do it, but he’s happy it was spent on seeing your little sister in his embrace.

        Unfortunately good things don’t last forever as he heard his mother cleared her throat, indicating she wanted to get this over with and take him to the hospital. His smile faltered, taking his hands off your younger sister, unwrapping her arms from his waist and bent down to her level.

        “Is (Y/N) home?” He asked with anguish dripping from his lips. Abby nodded and turned around to shout your name. The sudden call made Sonia flinch, but Eddie didn’t move a muscle since he was used to Abby opening the door. He was going to miss coming over everyday, he loved your family even your older brother, who actually gave Eddie good advice on girls, especially on you since he was your brother. That doesn’t mean he didn’t share embarrassing stories about your younger childhood since you only moved to Derry in fourth grade. Eddie found them adorable nonetheless, and even took the liberty to share some embarrassing stories of his own which made you feel better.

        The sound of footsteps filled the sound as you approached the door with your hair in a ponytail with some strands of hair left out at the front. You were wearing your work clothes for the diner, considering you had an early shift on weekdays during the summer. It was a pastel yellow semi-fitted dress with white lining across the bottom of the dress, the collar and the sleeves and your shoes were surprisingly clean, white converse with white socks to match.

        It was like you were a professional model with the sun acted as your spotlight while the wind acted as your fan and Eddie couldn’t but stare at you in complete awe. He’s still trying to figure out how you manage to get prettier everyday, it was still a mystery to him and he wanted to know. Butterflies began to manifest inside his stomach as his knees became wobbly. He started to wonder how he managed to get you in the first place, sure you weren’t popular but it was baffling to him that no one notice your inner and outer beauty.

        You’re just a mystery to him, a beautiful mystery.

        You made eye contact with Eddie, giving your brightest smile and slinging your bag over your right shoulder. It soon faltered when you saw his mother standing there with a scowl on her face. It was no secret to you that Eddie’s mother didn’t like you, but you did understand the feeling of no one being good enough for someone close to you. It obviously hasn't happened yet, but you do see the way Georgie looks at your sister, you do know the younger Denbrough is a good kid though.

        “Good morning, Mrs. Kaspbrak.” You greeted politely with a small smile. “Hey, Eddie.” You greeted a little more nonchalantly. Eddie didn’t smile back though and it made you worry as a million questions went through your head. The worst one kept replaying through your head, but it couldn’t be that, right?

        “May we speak with you, alone?” Sonia asked, glancing down at Abby when she said ‘alone.’ Abby sunk into herself, but walked back inside the house before you shut the door behind you. Your stomach tickled itself in nervousness as you got ready for the conversation. You walked a good distance away from your house, closer the Kaspbrak car while patting down your dress in anticipation.

        “This is about you two.” Sonia pointed between her son and you, causing you to tense up in fear. You looked to Eddie in fear and he returned the same expression. You could tell he knew what his mother was about to say.

        “I’ve learned you’ve been fooling around with my son-”

        “Mrs. Kaspbrak, I-” Sonia put a hand up to indicate she wasn’t done talking, making you bite your lip and tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear while looking down at the floor. Eddie wasn’t ready to see you like this. He wanted to be able to comfort you when you started to cry, but he knew laying a finger on you wasn’t an option with his mother around.

        “I have given you the luxury to hang out with Eddie, but you’ve crossed the line by-by infecting him with this primitive superstition. Now Eddie and I have made the decision that it wouldn’t be best for him to be around you.” Your head shot up at those words. Eddie and I? He wanted this too? Your head snapped to Eddie’s in that sentence, but you saw him mouth the words ‘it’s not true.’ which made you visibly relax, but you realized she just said she was forbidding you from seeing him. It seemed as if the world stopped spinning around you, like the birds stopped singing, the sun stopped giving you warmth and energy, but it instead pulled you too close to the point started to burn. You genuinely wondered what your life would be without Eddie by your side, he was the reason you looked forward to school, despite the constant bullying it was him who lifted your spirits. And yesterday? You didn’t know you could reach those levels of happy, it was the best day of your life and you couldn’t think of any other day that could top it.

        Tears brimmed your eyes, but you quickly blinked them away, trying not to spare a glance at Eddie. You didn’t blame him, you could never blame him for anything, you didn’t even blame Sonia, you blamed yourself instead for thinking a secret relationship could work out.

        “I-uh, I understand.” You sniffed as your nose and eyes grew hotter by the second. Eddie looked at you for something that told him you weren’t giving up on the relationship, but he knew deep down you weren’t going to show it. He was furious, clenching his fist so tightly to fight the urge to run up and actually… kiss you. He wanted to, he wanted to do it so badly, he didn’t care about the amount of germs it could transfer because he wanted to feel your lips against his as he ran his fingers through your hair. If it meant his mother’s hatred against him, he’d take it.

        “I’m sorry for this happening, it was a mistake.” Your voice cracked at ‘mistake,’ because it wasn’t a mistake and you wouldn’t trade a day with Eddie for anything, he’s the best thing that you could hope for. Your eyes glanced down to the bracelet around your wrist, it was the bracelet Eddie got you for your one-month anniversary. Sonia noticed it too, she remembered Eddie had the same one around his wrist and she fumed at the sight of it.

        “Please hand it over.” She stuck her hand out, gesturing to the handmade leather bracelet around your wrist. You nodded, pursing your lips together so you wouldn’t let out a sob, but your red eyes couldn’t hide the pain you were trying to conceal. Your hand were shaking as you unlatched the bracelet and placed it in the woman’s hand. She grasped it in her hand and stuffed it into her bag, letting it be crushed by other items inside it.

        “We’re done here then.” Sonia stated coldly, readjusting her bag so it rested properly on her shoulder, she brushed your shoulder and whispered a threat in your ear. Your eyes widened at her sentence but you nodded nonetheless and stumbled as she pushed you aside. Eddie furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, wondering what his mother could say that would put you in a such a state of shock. He immediately walked over to you, taking his two fingers and placing them under your chin to tilt your head up. The last time you an him were in close proximity as this was yesterday when he left a chaste kiss on your cheek. Oh, how you both wanted to go back to that, before everything went to shit. Your quivering lips, your puffy red eyes with fresh tears replacing ones that had already fallen from your face, this was your reality and Eddie broke at this sight, the sight he couldn’t fix.

        “(Y/N) I-” You pulled away before he could finish anything, not because you didn’t want to hear it, but because if you needed to get over him, then you couldn’t be around him, no matter how much you want to. You tightly shut your eyes and took a deep breath, but your breath shuddered as you exhaled, once you opened them you put on your best smile, hiding all of your pain behind it.

        “I need to go to work.” You checked your watch, knowing you were late. Eddie was confused though, why were you trying to hide it? Was is it something he did? Did he say something wrong? Should he have stopped his mother and gone with his ‘kiss my girlfriend’ plan?

        “Wait, (Y/N)-”

        “Bye, Eddie,” you waved before turning around and covering your mouth to hide your sobs. Your other hand clutched your bag for work as more tears ran down your red cheeks. You were just embarrassed, upset, angry, and most of all heartbroken. You really wanted to look back to look at Eddie’s face one more time, but you were to scared to see him. If you hadn’t gone on the date yesterday then none of this would’ve happened.

        Eddie just stared as you slowly disappeared from his sight. He could tell you were crying, there’s no way he could miss it, maybe someone else might but not Eddie, he knows you to well. His lips stayed parted as he frustratingly ran his hands through his hair with tears brimming his eyes once again. He glanced over to his mother who was looking at him expectantly with small anger in her eyes, but he didn’t care. He already knows it’s because he touched you, but he’d do it again and again and again just to spite her.

        “Eddie, come on.” She called, taking a seat into the car. Eddie sighed and turned back around to his mother in defeat, trudging back to the car, feeling like a burden was tied to his feet. He felt his whole body telling him to turn back, but he couldn’t, knowing things would just get worse.


	12. “She infected you! Messed up your mind.” Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie x Reader Part 2

Weeks went by and Eddie wasn’t getting any better. His grades on recent quizzes and tests were slipping even though school basically just started, his appearance was getting lazier as his hair got frizzier and curlier, and his sassy quirks and comebacks were non-existent. It was as if he wasn’t even Eddie anymore. Sonia thought he would get over this, but it was getting significantly worse. She didn’t understand why he was so hung up over you, but she thought she might’ve found a way to fix it.

She thought.

“Eddie-Bear!” She called out from downstairs, unsurprisingly watching a soap opera. Her idea would be nuts to anyone who really knew Eddie personally. He would never agree to her plan, but he unfortunately couldn’t refuse it either.

The sound of footsteps echoed the house as Eddie appeared in front of his mother in the same state he’s been in for weeks. His face was emotionless and his posture was slouched, you could tell how broken he felt.

“Yes ma?” He choked out with a heavy amount of rasp. It sounded like he hasn’t talked in months and this is the first time.

“I’ve arranged something for you. Hopefully, it will lift your spirits.” She announced, picking at the grit in her nails. Eddie furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, wondering what his mother had planned for him next. What he did know was there was nothing that could possibly lift his spirits except you.

“What is it?” He questioned, uninterested with the situation.

“There’s this new employee at the pharmacy. Jennifer, I think her name was.” She pondered, trying to refresh her memory. There were obviously a lot of Jennifer’s in Derry High School, but the only girl who came to Eddie’s mind was Jennifer Jahns from his History class. She was an attractive young girl with light brown locks and defining hazel-brown eyes. There was no denying Eddie thought she was a pretty girl, but she wasn’t you.

“What about her?” Eddie shrugged. Jennifer never crossed his mind before, so why would it now?

“I told her that you would meet up with her to get more acquainted with each other.”

Eddie tensed up, processing the words his mother just said. First, she forbids him from seeing you, then she sets him up with some girl he couldn’t really care less about?

“Why?” He questioned, though part of him knew the answer.

“You’ve been moping around for weeks, and it worries me.” Sonia argued. Maybe you shouldn’t have made me break up with my girlfriend then. Eddie thought to himself, showing his anger in his face.

“And I can’t cancel, that would be rude.” Of course, she could cancel, it’s not that hard to do, but she would never tell her son that if she truly wanted him to get over you.

Eddie sighed, knowing there was no way of getting out of this situation. He could try to sabotage the whole thing and try to act like a complete asshole, but it wasn’t a trait he possessed unfortunately. The only thing he could try to do is let jennifer down easily and swear her to secrecy from his mother.

“Fine, when is this?” He asked, running a hand through his tangled curled up hair.

“Three hours, so get dressed and fix your hair. It looks like it hasn’t been washed in days.” She grimaced, not realizing Eddie really hadn’t washed his hair in weeks, as disgusting as it was. Eddie nodded nonetheless and began to get ready for his meet up with a girl he barely knew. What fun.

Meanwhile, you were sitting in bed with your blanket draped over your shoulders to keep you warm since the person who did that for you was gone. You were doing no better than Eddie for the past few weeks. You still managed to keep your hygiene up, but that was really it.

It was even worse when Abby constantly asked where Eddie was since he always came to your house after school. Luckily your brother saved you from the humiliation of breaking down in front of your little sister, but she would never stop asking.

Your fingers trailed over the polaroid photos of you and Eddie that you took over the course of your friendship and soon-to-be relationship. Your favourite one was the one where you and Eddie were standing back-to-back with serious faces, while holding up your hands in the shape of a gun. ‘Partners in Crime’ was written at the bottom in thick black marker.

Once again, your eyes got hotter as tears started to brim your eyes for the second time, today. For some reason, you just couldn’t stop crying, no matter how much you wanted to. You felt pathetic, crying over some boy, even though it wasn’t necessarily his fault. You pressed your hands to your eyelids, forcing the tears to stop falling down, praying you would just run out of them.

A knock interrupted your sulking, making you shoot your head up in the direction of the door. Your brother’s head peeled inside with a look of pity, observing your puffy eyes, tangled up hair and weak figure. You looked away in shame, hating the way he was seeing you like this. Pity wasn’t something you needed, nor wanted and having your brother of all people see you in this state was even worse.

“(Y/N).” He softly knocked on the door, even though the door was already halfway open. You stayed silent, letting your face indicate you were listening.

“Dick and Farmboy are here.” He announced. Your lips curled up at the nicknames he had for your friends. Ever since Eddie had called Richie by his full name, Richard, your brother had always called him by his, as he would say “his rightful nickname,” Dick. With Mike, it was Richie who coined the term, saying if he had a stupid nickname, so should the rest of the losers, so your brother went with Farmboy for Mike.

You heard Richie groan from the outside of your room, followed by a chuckle that you assumed was Mike. After Eddie, those two were who you were closest to. Each of you knew each other’s deepest secrets, some of them, the full losers club didn’t know about. They were like your brothers, but that doesn’t mean you don’t love your biological one any less.

“Thanks Josh,” You croaked out, sending him a small smile which made him return the favour. The other two boys walked in with remorseful smiles, that is, until Richie opened his mouth.

“Oi mate! The gurl is in worse shape than i’ave thought!” Richie exclaimed with a poor attempt of an Australian. Mike punched his shoulder, sending him a glare that said “Now is not the time.” He turned back to you, though you were still looking down at the polaroids, frowning at the site of them.

“How you holding up?” Mike asked softly, taking a seat in the edge of your twin bed. There were rare times when Mike or Richie had seen you cry, the most prominent time being the fight with Pennywise but it was only a few tears, nothing drastic. The other time was watching Beverly leave for Portland, she was the only person keeping you sane in the large group of boys, girls have to stick together right? Even then, you let everything out at home, trying to stay strong for her at the bus stop.

Having Mike and Richie see you in this state of sadness was like trying ice cream for the first time, surprising and weird. Now that they see this side of you was something they’d rather take back, they liked happy you much better.

“I’ve only cried twice today, less than yesterday.” You spoke softly, shrugging your shoulders nonchalantly. Richie took a seat beside you, guiding your head to his shoulder for you to lean on. You sniffed, snuggling into it more to get comfortable, knowing this was a rare occasion to witness ‘soft Richie.’

“Why can’t you guys just date in secret?” Richie questioned. He couldn’t really comprehend why you guys can’t just be more careful around Eddie’s mother.

“She threatened me, Rich.” You sighed, fiddling with your fingers so you couldn’t see how Mike and Richie’s eyes widened in disbelief.

“What do you mean, threatened you?” Mike asked, taking your hands in his to stop distracting yourself. You looked up and saw a fire in the darker skinned boys eyes, a fire you know he always had when he was five steps away from murdering someone. Mike could be intimidating if he wanted to, he just never needed to show the side with you.

“She said if she ever catches me even talking to Eddie again, she won’t allow him to hang out with you guys anymore.” You explained, getting shivers from the memory of her breath spreading down from your ear to your stomach.

Mike and Richie shared a look of disbelief, letting your words sink in. How could she despise someone like you to the point where she won’t let her own child basically have friends?

“What bullshit! She can’t do that.” Richie exclaimed, furrowing his eyebrows. You nodded in agreement, but didn’t comment on it, you weren’t willing to fight Sonia about it no matter how unfair it was.

“Well, what if you guys just date at school?” Mike suggested. He would try literally anything if it meant seeing you and Eddie together, possibly even changing your names and moving across the country.

You shook your head, just wanting to erase your memories of you and Eddie together. If you did that, there would be less pain. “Mike, maybe it’s for the best. I shouldn’t have tried to do this.”

Both boys looked at you as if you belonged in an insane asylum.

“You cannot be giving up?” Richie threw his arm around your shoulder, shaking it a bit to convey his message. You stayed silent, looking down the Polaroids, your silence would answer their question and it did.

“But, (Y/N), you _love_ him.” Mike stated, like it was fact. Like, it was written in the stars, and no hesitation was shown in his voice, he was full on convinced.

Your head shot up at those words. You thought Mike was getting a little ahead of himself. Sure, Eddie never left your mind at any part of the day, and you always seemed to smile brighter whenever he was around, or when he held your hand you would get those little shivers that made your cheeks heat u-

Holy shit.

“I-I _love_ him?” You let the sentence dance in your tongue, looking like a deer caught in headlights. Mike smiled at you, happy at your pretty late realization, while Richie threw his head back and groaned.

“Of course you do, you dipshit.” Richie said matter-of-factly. Your lips curled up into a smile and you weakly punched his shoulder, seeing as you stayed in bed all day.

You kept replaying the words in your head, as your smile got wider, hearing it in your head. I love him, I love him, I love him, I love him.

“And you guys need to get back together because he loves you too.” Mike reached out and tucked a stray hair out of your face. Brotherly instinct.

Your eyes widened, just hearing the way Mike said those words being said so nonchalantly. It’s a confirmation you didn’t know you needed, until now.

“He does?”

“Holy fucking shit! Yes, (Y/N), he does! There’s literally not a day that goes by when that kid doesn’t talk about you. You should’ve seen the way he acted when you were late to the quarry, he was literally freaking out. He kept trying to convince us to check your house to see if you weren’t in any trouble.” Richie ranted, making your face get redder and redder by each word. You covered your face with your hand, trying to hide the wide smile you had at Eddie’s worry for you.

The smile faltered as you remembered Eddie’s mother’s threat.

“No no no, I’m not risking this. There’s nothing we can do.” You sighed, frustratingly running a hand through your tangled hair.

An obnoxious ringing stopped your conversation as you and the two boys turned your attention to the phone your desk. You lazily threw off your blanket and crawled over Richie to take it out from the holder. The cord carried itself over yours and Richie’s lap as you brought the phone to your ear.

“Hello?”

“(Y/N)?” The sound of your co-worker, Rebecca, filled your left ear. You furrowed your eyebrows, knowing you didn’t have a shift today and that’s really all she calls you for, to remind you.

“Hey Becca, what’s up?” You cleared your throat, trying not to show your sad state. Rebecca didn’t know about the break-up, and you didn’t really want her to, sometimes she tends to get a little too much into other people’s business and you didn’t want to be one of them.

“Ummm, it’s about your boyfriend.” You cringed at her words with your eyes gaining that stinging feeling once again. You took a deep breath, letting it shudder a few times before you spoke up again.

“Uh, what about him?”

“He’s here with another girl, looking a little bit too friendly.” She spoke with a bit of annoyance. You froze in shock, Mike and Richie taking notice in this, listening in more intently.

“Oh,” was all you could muster to get out. The only scenario that you could think of was that his mother forced him to do this, not wanting to believe he moved on that fast. You stayed silent for so long, Rebecca was convinced that the connection was lost, so she hung up the phone, leaving a longing ring tone to play.

“(Y/N), what is it?” Mike took the phone from your ear, knowing the conversation was over and gave it to Richie to put it back on the desk. Your head turned to Mike with a blank expression playing on your face. It took you a few seconds but you managed to get the words out.

“It was-um, it was my co-worker. She said she saw Eddie with another girl, and they were apparently really _friendly_ with each other.” You explained. The boys grew confused at your words, but Richie’s confusion turned to anger, shooting up from the bed and walking towards the door.

“Richie, where are you going?” Mike asked, still dazed by what happened a few seconds ago. It just didn’t make sense to him, it didn’t make sense to any of them and all three of them had different ways of showing it.

“To the diner, there’s someone’s face I need to slap into the next century.” Richie growled, turning the doorknob to walk out. Yours and Mike’s eyes widened, since the reasonings were completely different for the two of you.

Mike shot up from the bed, grabbing Richie’s wrist, trying to drag him back to the bed. Richie tried to jerk it away, but Mike’s grip was too strong. Maybe, Richie could rip his hand away, but part of him was thankful Mike was preventing him from doing something undoubtedly stupid.

“Rich, there’s another reason he could be doing this.” Mike spoke softly. The contrast between his physical build and all-around demeanour was so different, you’d think Mike had a different boy stuck inside him, but no, that’s just how he is.

“Like what?” Richie asked in disbelief. No other scenario crossed his mind, to find something that wouldn’t make this Eddie’s fault. Maybe, he didn’t realize his brain was just trying to process one and he just wasn’t receiving it.

“His mother, Rich.” You spoke up from your bed, making both boys turn to you. Richie’s demeanour softened, his brain finally transmitting the information as he came back to your bed, Mike’s hand falling off lazily since he didn’t need to hold back Richie anymore.

“Fucking hell.” Richie muttered, slumping down on the sheet-covered mattress. A silence filled the room, as you and the two other teens thought about your own little things that regarded the same situation. Mike and Richie weren’t giving up hope though, still believing there was someway you could still be with the germaphobic boy.

“If only that little wuss would stand up to his mother.” Richie wondered aloud. You hit his shoulder, saying “don’t call him that,” making Rich grin at the fact you still managed to care about the little things.

“It’s really the only way though.” Mike cut in, thinking about the same thing Richie was. The only thing they needed to do was change Sonia’s point of view, so she’d accept the relationship, but after they kept it a secret from her for five months, persuading her would be like getting a hundred percent in every single subject at school.

“I’m not forcing Eddie to do that. Plus, he wouldn’t choose me over his own mother.” You shook your head, instinctively wanting to do something with your hands so you reached the hand sanitizer on your desk and started rubbing your hands together to get rid of bacteria. Eddie’s constant rambling about bacteria kind of made you self-conscious, taking a lot of liberties to make sure you were always safe of anything that might have germs or bacteria.

“Then let us talk to her.” Richie suggested. You turned to him in disbelief, thinking of endless possibilities where Richie being within ten feet of Eddie’s mother would go horribly wrong.

“Even I know that would be very stupid since you can’t keep your fucking mouth shut, Rich.” Mike purses his lips together, patting Richie’s knee as if he was trying to say ‘good job for trying.’

“Guys it’s over, his mother hates me and she’s not changing her mind on this.” You shrugged, since you really just gave up a long time ago. A tear escaped your eye, alerting Mike to give you hug, which you gladly returned. The boys really couldn’t come up with anything else either, but still kept something that they could hold on to, a glimmer of hope that things would turn around.

“Thanks for coming over.” You sniffed, breaking the hug to go to Richie who gave you a side-hug and a kiss on your forehead.

“No probe-lem mademoiselle. Zat is just what we do.” Richie said, impersonating a French citizen. It was your favourite one because it actually wasn’t that bad, just a little rough on the edges.

“How about we watch a movie. A little birdie told me you got Beauty and the Beast on VHS.” Mike suggested. You rolled your eyes, immediately thinking about Abby who said she wouldn’t stop bragging about it to her friends.

“Sure, okay let’s watch it.” You nodded, getting out of bed with the help of Richie and having them get out so you could change clothes.

The movie somewhat helped, along with Richie’s crude comments of how Belle and the Beast would fuck if the Beast stayed in his monstrous form, making Mike grimace at his weird thoughts and made you chuckle at his ‘creative’ mind. It made you forget a little nonetheless and all you tried to do was just sit back and relax with your two best friends beside you.

***

Another week went by and things weren’t getting better. Eddie and Jennifer continued to hang out, much to the boy’s dismay. It’s not like Jennifer was a bad person, she was really nice actually, buts that’s all she was, nice. There was no substance he found with her, so the ‘dates’ they went on were quite boring for Eddie.

It didn’t help that he always imagined you sitting in front of him, talking about how your brother got into the university of his choice and how you might get his room. It was all you were talking about before Sonia Kaspbrak ruined everything.

It affected the losers too as Eddie didn’t hang out with them as much since his mother felt the need to schedule a ‘date’ every other day. He couldn’t back out of it either, cursing his good nature which was preventing him from telling Jennifer no.

As for you, everything was at least, stable for you. You talked to Ben, Stan and Bill a little more as Eddie drifted farther away from the group, catching up on what you missed for the few weeks you missed when you weren’t around them. However, it was sort of depressing since they were all hung over the fact they were losing another friend just as soon as they were getting one back.

It was really just shitty for everyone.

Thursday came rolling around with also happened to be the busiest days at the diner. No one knew why Thursday was such a popular day, but nonetheless, all employees were called in that day, including you.

It also happened to be the day Sonia planned another ‘date’ for Eddie and Jennifer.

Sonia, herself decided to go to because she knew you’d be there too. She wanted to see how you’d react to the fact Eddie has moved on, since she knows you haven’t at all. It was quite cruel, but it seems pretty harmless and satisfying to her.

You wiped down the table, headphones attached to your Walkman that hung around your apron. ‘Superstition’ by Stevie Wonder filled the sound around you as you minded your own business, whistling the melody quietly. Your fingers tapped your waist rhythmically, finding yourself in a pretty good mood which you haven’t experienced in weeks so it was a pretty good breath of fresh air.

As soon as you were done cleaning the table, another group of people claimed the spot, making you sigh at the fact that you just cleaned it. You went to the back though, carrying the tray of unfinished cups and dirty plates. Laying them next to the sink, you took the sponge and started scrubbing them with precision.

_“There’s a Science behind it (Y/N).” The boy exclaimed next to you. You furrowed your eyebrows, but chuckled nonetheless at how into this he was._

_“It’s just dishes!” You countered, throwing your hands up in defeat, leaning back on your kitchen counter._

_“(Y/N)! Listen to your boyfriend, he knows what he’s doing.” Abby cut in from the entrance of the kitchen, causing you to grab a rag and throw it in her direction which she quickly dodged._

_“Thank you, Abby.” The boy smirked, turning back to the dishes, paying close attention to it. You rolled your eyes, since you thought your sister would take your side, but life is full of surprises._

_“Go dream about Georgie or something, you’re not needed here.” You teased, making your sister turn a crimson red as she covered her face. It’s definitely not the first time you’ve called her out on her crush, and it definitely won’t be the last._

_“Shut up!” She crosses her arms, before she realized what she said. Your eyes widened, your smile growing wide while the boy turned to Abby in disbelief._

_“Did you just… swear, Abby?” He asked, shocked. Abby covered her mouth as the boy turned off the faucet, walking over to her still wearing his wet yellow rubber gloves. Abby tried to turn around to run, but the boy was faster, picking her up and twirling her around. Her clothes became damp from the gloves, grimacing and laughing at the same time._

_“No! No, I didn’t. I swear!” She pleaded between laughs. You watched them laughing, crossing your arms with a smile that refused to come off your face. It was nice to see that he got along with the rest of your family, he was really good with kids too._

_He was perfect to you._

_“Eddie! Put me down!” Abby shouted, though you could tell she was enjoying it._

_“Not until you take it back!” Eddie sung, winking back at you and making you laugh out loud._

_“Eddie!”_

“(Y/N)?”

“Hmm?” You snapped out of your flashback, turning to Rebecca who was standing next to you. The sink was almost filled to the brink, but she got to it before it overflowed as she looked at you in confusion.

“I said we have no more waiters left.” She, you assumed, repeated for the second time. You grew more alert, standing up tall, shaking your head in embarrassment.

“Sorry-uh, you want me to take a table?” You asked, putting a plate back in the tray and turning completely in her direction.

“No shit!” She said matter-of-factly, making you chuckle. “Table five needs someone, you’re up.” She patted your shoulder. You pursed your lips and nodded, grabbing a notepad and pen before going out of the kitchen. You glanced to table five and your eyes widened.

This can’t be happening.

You immediately went back into the kitchen to find Carol, another one of your co-workers staring you in confusion. You weren’t as close to her as you were with Rebecca, but you still considered her a friend and she considered you one too.

“The fuck is wrong with you?” She questioned. Your lips parted with no words coming out, before you realized she was waiting for an answer.

“I can’t t-take table five. Please just give me any other table.” You choked out. Her face grew even more confused if that was possible and walked passed you to take a look at who was at table five.

She came back as soon as she left with the same expression.

“It’s just your boyfriend, why are you so freaked out?” She questioned, causing you to accidentally ramble about everything that happened for the past few weeks, even the conversation you had with Mike and Richie, AND even the daydream you had a few seconds ago. Carol just looked at you like a crazy person, but her eyes were softened as she looked you with remorse, seeing the way tears started to brim your eyes before you wiped them away.

“Honey, I think you should still go out there.” She rested her arm on your shoulder. You furrowed your eyebrows taking a step back, but Carol rested another hand on your other shoulder, turning you towards the door. The heels of your shoes dragged across the floor, trying to stop the force you were feeling.

“Carol, seriously!” You exclaimed, but her push was way to strong.

“You want to get over this boy, yes?” She interrogated.

“Of course, but-“

“Then you need to be able to face him or you won’t be satisfied with yourself.” She argued, using her biggest push to get you out the door. You stumbled into the diner, immediately turning around to open the door, but it wouldn’t budge. You sighed, concluding Carol was keeping you out and turned on your heel, narrowing your eyes to table five.

How awkward is this going to be?

You took each step slowly, like each touch to the ground caused thunder to rumble. They didn’t notice you yet, talking quietly amongst themselves. You breath shuddered during exhales as you got closer, biting your lip so harshly, blood threatened to drip out.

Finally, you approached the table, glancing down at your notepad, hearing no more small chatter in front of you. You looked up for a split second, and all you saw was Eddie staring directly at you in complete admiration, but you couldn’t see that. The girl next to him, Jennifer was her name, looked at you nonchalantly, like you were just another waiter. She never really payed attention to your friend group so she possibly wouldn’t know about the relationship you shared with the boy next to her.

His mother was unexpectedly carrying a small smile, a sarcastic one at that, however. It was like she was expecting you to come to their table, expecting to see how awkward and shy you were going to be. She was enjoying every second of it.

“Hello, welcome to Betty’s Diner. My-my name is (Y/N), I will be your waitress for today. Can I start you off with what you’d like to drink?” You recited what you learned to say when introducing yourself with a table. Usually, you’d make something else up, so the person/people knew you were just a person like them, but with this group, it was just too… hard.

“Yeah, I’ll have a cola, please.” Jennifer announced, slightly cutting the tension off. You gave a small smile and nod, half of it because she made the situation less awkward and the other half being that she was a nice person. She also returned the smile, calming you down a little.

“I’ll just have a water, thank you.” Sonia spoke up next, earning a nod from you and jotting it down, along with Jennifer’s. You also wrote down Eddie’s because he always ordered the same drink, Crystal Pepsi.

However, when you looked up, he was still staring at you, making shift uncomfortably and blush a deep red. It’s like you were the only person in the room and if he tore his eyes away you would disappear. Maybe, he noticed he was doing this, but didn’t care. He hadn’t seen you weeks, he hadn’t seen his five-month long girlfriend in weeks.

It wasn’t until his mother nudged him to speak, that he broke out of his state, shaking his head and muttering a “sorry,” before speaking up. “I’ll have a Crystal Pepsi.”

You nodded, pursing your lips together and responding with “I’ll be right with you, then.” You flipped the notebook shut and placed it in the pocket of your apron, walking back into the kitchen. Once the door was closed, you let out a deep breath, shutting your eyes tight and running your fingers through your hair.

“It wasn’t that bad.” Carol popped out of nowhere, startling you as you almost jumped out into the diner.

“Jesus.” You muttered, holding a hand to your heart that was beating rapidly for two reasons. You stood straight nonetheless and went to get the drinks for the table, then placed them on a brown tray, carefully carrying it back outside. You approached the table, looking just over everyone’s heads. Looking into anyone’s eyes was too much, especially his.

“One Cola,” you announced, placing the drink in front of Jennifer. “One water,” you placed the water in front Sonia. “And one Crystal Pepsi.” You we’re placing the drink down, but since he was on the further side of the table, Eddie reached out to take the drink, resulting in yours and his fingers brushing each other. Shivers spread through your body, and Eddie’s too. You and him shared eye contact as he slowly grasped the whole cup, placing it down slowly on the table.

The feeling of falling in love came back again. You missed that feeling so much, you almost forgot what it felt like, but of course it was Eddie. He was the only person who could make you feel that way.

“I think we’d like to order now.” Sonia cut in, interrupting the session. She was really pissed off, until she saw how Eddie looked at you. It was the way she looked at Eddie’s father, in pure infatuation. The realization hit her like a truck, the realization that Eddie _loves_ you. At this point, she didn’t know what to feel, to her, you were still an _infection_ , but how? What has she actually seen to make her feel this way, genuinely? Whenever you’re around Eddie, he’s always blushing madly, like he’s sick. However, he’s smiling, he doesn’t stop around you. Even your hand brushes his, or at the mention of your name, he smiles.

It never happened with Jennifer. With her, he wouldn’t even crack a smile, not a hint of it. Again, the girl was nice, attractive, and very smart, she was probably a guy’s perfect idea if a girl, but not Eddie. He didn’t care how pretty she was, how nice she was, it didn’t matter. You were… you, the kind, caring, thought person in your own unique way.

Do you really _infect_ him? And if you do, is it really that much of a bad thing?

“Oh yeah, um-what would you like?” You cleared your throat, retracting your hand and placing it back on the tray. Eddie sighed softly, already missing the warmth your hand brought, just like it always did.

“I’ll just have a garden salad.” Sonia spoke softly, still contemplating her decisions. You nodded and wrote down the order, then expectantly looked at Jennifer and Eddie.

“I’ll just have chicken strips.” Jennifer shrugged, looking at the menu before placing it down. It was amazing how oblivious she was to the whole situation, but who could blame her. Being the person she is, she didn’t want to say no to the Kaspbrak woman and Eddie wasn’t a bad guy, just not her type.

“Do you want fries with that?” You asked, narrowing your eyes in Jennifer’s direction. She pondered for a second before nodding in agreement, closing the menu and handing it over to you which you gladly accepted.

“Uh sir? What do you want?” You asked, letting the words slip out accidentally.

Sir?

 _Sir_?!

Why in God’s name would you call him that? Was it because you were too afraid to call him by his name? How would his mother react if you did call him by his name? Would she be mad, say you’re acting informal? Maybe, that’s why you said it, because you didn’t want to get in trouble with her.

However, for Eddie, that was the last straw.

“I’m sorry what?” He furrowed his eyebrows.

“What’s wron-“

“That’s not what you called me, (Y/N). You called me Eds, Eddie spaghetti, Edward, asthma boy, germy and so many other stupid nicknames that I always said I hated, but I actually loved them. (Y/N), I loved them.” At this point, he was standing up from his seat, attracting other people in his direction as if he was proposing. Then again, this was pretty similar to one.

“Eddie-“ You spoke softly, glancing at all the other eyes, burning into your soul. Your eyes trailed over to his mother who was looking at him in complete awe, so was Jennifer.

“No! No, why are you pretending nothing happened! Like the past five months meant nothing to you!”

“It was five months!” Sonia exclaimed, but he ignored it.

“These past few weeks have been complete shit for me!” He was so enthralled that he didn’t even see his mother’s shocked face at the fact he just swore. “The amount of times you’re in my mind in one day is amazing. It’s amazing! And you know what, maybe my mother’s right, maybe you did infect me, you make my face go full-on fucking red whenever you’re within five feet of me. My body temperature goes to 0 degrees whenever you touch me, I mean seriously I get shivers. So-so yeah ma, she does infect me , you’re right and I’m thankful—.”

You just stood there, frozen, cold to the touch. Maybe, if someone tipped you over, you would shatter into cold pieces of ice while your heart melted it into water until it evaporated, floating away into the atmosphere. Butterflies ran amuck, causing chaos with pitchforks that poked the walls making little tickles in your stomach.

This was anger he was keeping in for weeks, waiting for the right moment to let it out. He considered trashing his room like an angsty teen in a John Hughes movie, but decided it was getting a bit too cliché. He considered taking it out on the losers club, but they already heard and has seen the amount of desperation he has for you, even before you and him broke up. But you didn’t. You needed to hear it, no matter who else was around you. You needed to hear it.

Unfortunately, the shouting was a little too much for him and he realized it too late. His staggered breaths turned into wheezes as his esophagus felt like it was closing up, preventing him from breathing. This alerted everyone when he clutched his left chest, taking a step back and bumping into the wall. Sonia shut up from her seat, creating quite a commotion with the table due to her large size. She caught the asthmatic boy before he collapsed on the floor, snapping you out of your dazed state.

Then you remembered the fanny pack. Eddie’s second fanny pack that he gave to you if he ever miraculously lost his main one. You never left home without it, and it seemed you forgot to take it out of your bag, thinking you wouldn’t need it anymore. But apparently now you did.

You dropped the tray, causing a loud thud and running back to the kitchen, pushing past everyone in urgency until you finally reached your bag. Your hands were shaky as you zipped open your bag, pulling the fanny pack out while your bag dropped to the floor. You pushed past everyone once again and ran into the diner to find Eddie trying to calm himself down while his mother was trying to get his attention and asking if someone had something “that could help her boy.”

You zipped open the fanny pack to find one blue inhaler, decorated with golden stars since you and Abby were bored one day, deciding to do some arts and crafts. You popped open the cap, kneeling down in front of Eddie who had his back against the wall, still wheezing like a madman. It wasn’t rare when he had asthma attacks, and when he did, it wasn’t drastic since he had it in hand, placing it in between his lips to stop the wheezing. Right now, it’s been up to a minute and no inhaler has stopped this, so right now he was feeling pain, a pain he’s never felt before.

Or maybe it wasn’t the asthma attack, well I mean, it was but it could also have come from the girl kneeling in front of him. The girl with dazzling (e/c) eyes and luscious (h/c) hair tied back was causing this pain. Not physical pain, emotional pain. But at the same time, she could take away that pain and maybe she was about to.

“Hey Eds, just focus on me. Okay?” You said, breathing as rapidly as him in this situation. He nodded vigorously, inhaling sharply and letting out a harsh wheezing sound that sounded like it came out of a broken whistle. You placed the inhaler in his mouth, pressing down to let the liquid spray out, opening up the airways as his breathing got slower and no more broken whistle sounds came out. His chocolate-brown orbs stared into yours as he payed attention to the different shades of (e/c) in your eyes. He never took the time to really observe them and now he’s mentally punching himself for it because they look beautiful. It’s probably because he was just too afraid to get too close, too many germs, too much bacteria, too many risks of infections, but now it didn’t matter. You mattered.

You, on the other hand was surprised to find out Eddie had freckles splattered across his face. It’s probably because you were never able to get to close to him. Of course there was his fear of germs, but there was also your fear of violation. You didn’t like making others uncomfortable, it always made you uncomfortable and you didn’t like that. But now, you were happy to be this close as the freckles reminded you of the stars you and him stared at during long nights. Well, more like you stared at them while he just stared at you, playing out that cliché when someone refers to one thing as ‘beautiful,’ but the person isn’t even looking at it when they agree. He was looking at you.

Maybe, that’s when he realized it. Maybe, that’s when he realized-

 _“I love you.”_ He whispered, speaking so softly that you almost missed it, but this wasn’t something you wouldn’t be able to not catch. You smiled hearing the confirmation when it was nothing but just a mere thought from Mike a week ago. He even chuckled breathlessly hearing him say it himself, or maybe it’s because he was still recovering from an asthma attack.

“I love-“

“Eddie!” His mother called out, ruining the somber moment. You and him simultaneously sighed, lengthening the gap between each other and standing up to face a surprisingly blank faced Sonia Kaspbrak. You couldn’t tell what she was feeling, even Sonia herself couldn’t tell what she was feeling. Eddie was happy being infected with love, smiling sickeningly sweet, laughing that would turn into coughs and sharing germs with another person. She didn’t think she was ready for that, she didn’t think Eddie was ready for that. But you made him happy, isn’t that what she wanted, to make her son safe and happy?

“Mom-“

“No, I need you to listen to this.” She put a hand up, readjusting her bag strap in her shoulder. You and Eddie stayed silent, sharing a scared look with each other before turning back to her.

“I’ll allow it.” She stated. Your eyes widened as a small smile grew on your lips. Was she consenting?

“Jennifer.” She turned to the girl, with a pitiful smile since she basically dragged the poor girl into this mess.

“It’s all cool Mrs. Kaspbrak. I really only accepted because I thought it was rude to say no. Plus, I’m really not the girl for your son.” She bit her lips, sticking stray hairs to the back of her ear. She gave a nod to the three people in front of her, giving one last wave before disappearing into town on a Thursday afternoon. Sonia’s attention lead back to the two teens, sighing at her decision but not regretting it.

“The way you two look at each other… I admit, I get jealous. I used to look at your father that way everyday, feeling like I was falling in love all over again. I’m sorry I didn’t give you a chance (Y/N), I didn’t think anyone was good enough for him. You’re still a close second to being good enough though.” She said, making herself and you chuckle lightly. “It’ll take sometime for me, you have to understand that.”

“I totally understand Mrs. Kaspbrak.” You nodded, telling nothing but the truth. She nodded back, creating an awkward silence as she glanced at the broken cups, repositioned table, scattered napkins and spilled drinks. The manager is going to be so mad with you.

“I’m going to leave you two alone now, lord knows you have a lot to catch up on.” She sighed, before taking a fifty out of her purse and placing it in your hands. Obviously, they hadn’t ordered much, but the extra money was probably from the damage she caused. She eventually walked outside as the sun glared through the windows, making her put on a pair of shades as she was engulfed by the sun. The people at this point had stopped observing, discreetly talking about what just happened, calling it either ‘cute,’ or ‘disturbing.’

“So…”

“So…?”

What the hell were you supposed to do now?

“For heavens sake! Go out! I’ll take care of this.” Carol called from the entrance to the kitchen, startling you and Eddie. You looked at him expectantly as he turned back to you, shrugging.

“Your choice?” He suggested, making you roll your eyes that the final decision was up to you.

“Thanks Carol!” You exclaimed, taking Eddie’s hand and running out of the restaurant, leaving Carol to chuckle and shake her head at your excitement.

***

You didn’t stop running until you reached the secret area with the giant oak tree in the middle with two initials carved right next to each other. It was endless loops of laughing during the run, making everything seem more fun than it actually was. Once you finally approached the tree, your back found itself leaning on the bark of the tall plant, feeling tiny pricks but nothing too drastic. Then you remembered.

“I love you too.” You said, making Eddie narrowed his eyes towards you. It’s not like she needed to repeat it, he heard you the first time, even though you were cut off.

“I know.”

“But you didn’t hear it clearly enough.” You countered immediately. You wanted him to know. You wanted him to know. You felt you needed to say it loud and clear, the world didn’t need to hear it, but he did.

“So, I’m saying it again. I love you Eds, Edward, Eddie spaghetti, asthma boy, _wheezy_.” That’s the one he forgot, _wheezy_. How could he forget? It was your favourite one to use. But how could he make it up to you that he forgot it? He felt he needed to apologize that he forgot to list _wheezy_ , it was your preferred nickname for him after all. But how?

Then a light bulb went off.

It was a crazy way to apologize, but part of his mind was just coming up with an excuse to do it that wasn’t ‘ _I just wanna kiss my girlfriend._ ’ Actually, fuck it, he didn’t need an excuse. If he wanted to kiss his girlfriend, he should just do it with no regrets. Sure, it was the first time and he’s never done it before, also what if he… misses? But, all he had to do was walk up and do it, even if you as still listing off stupid nicknames. But it would be rude to cut you off, while you were talki-

 _Stop stalling and kiss her, you pussy._ A voice that sounded way too much like Richie’s said in his mind. And stopped being a pussy, he was doing as he walked up to you, a new confidence radiating off his body. Each hand was placed on each side of your face, left hand with left side and right hand with right side from Eddie’s perspective.

Halfway through leaning in, he stopped, looking into your (e/c) once again. They were pleading for him to do it, to just close the gap between their lips, and it’s all he needed to do it. The gap was closed as your eyes widened in what was happening. Your brain was just trying to process it all, you’re kissing your boyfriend for the first time. It took a few seconds to melt into it, but then you did, placing your hands on Eddie’s shoulders for stability as the kiss deepened. His hands moved from your face to your hair, brushing them through it just like he wanted to.

It was satisfying to not meet any tangles during the course of brushing it through. You always made sure your hair wasn’t a mess, catching every tangle and knot that threaten to ruin your hair and Eddie was grateful for it. Your right hand trailed up from his shoulder to his neck to his cheekbone as you caressed it softly, before pulling away abruptly when you realized that no air was inside your lungs.

Heavy gasps for air filled the silence, but the smiles spoke louder as you still held on to each other, never letting go, never wanting to let go. It was a sloppy kiss, harsh yet soft and pretty lazy yet forceful, but still felt perfect in your (e/c) eyes. You wouldn’t trade that for any other first kiss. Even better, Eddie felt completely fine after it, no coughing, irritations, rashes, nothing his mom warned him about, just butterflies but the good kind. Maybe that was the infection, the infection that you gave to him.

Maybe, the infection was love.


	13. “Completely fine.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beverly x Reader (kind of)

You watched as they laughed together, feeling shots of jealousy pour down your throat like liquor. You felt it wasn’t fair that out of the people in the world you had to feel the way you felt, of course you weren’t the only one, but it sure felt like it. You wanted to tell her so badly, but the fear of rejection clouded your judgement and there was also the fact it was painfully obvious she liked somebody else. Sometimes it keeps you up at night, asking the same question over and over again: Why did you have to fall for Beverly Marsh?

Who wouldn’t though? Bill obviously does, and you wouldn’t be surprised if any of the losers said they did too, especially Ben judging by the way he looks at her. Unfortunately, it was Bill Denbrough who had her in his grasp as you notice the longing glances they gave each other or how Beverly liked to randomly bring him up in conversation. It was a lose-lose situation you had accept, sadly.

“Oh shit!” The sound of Eddie’s feminine shriek snapped you out of your thoughts as you turned your attention to him.

“What is it now?” Richie grumbled, ending his conversation with Ben.

“It’s 6:45, my mom’s gonna kill me!” Eddie shot up from the rock he was sitting on and put his inhaler back in his fanny pack.

“I g-guh-guess we’ll all go then.” Bill shrugged, dusting himself off before standing up. You took the chance to look Beverly who was, no surprise, staring right in Bill’s direction. You began to think that maybe if you were a guy, Beverly might actually notice you for once. You tore your gaze away and looked over to Stan who was also looking in Beverly and Bill’s direction with the same look you had. Of course Stan had to fall for Beverly too.

“Hey (Y/N)?” You snapped your head towards the redhead who had stole and crushed your heart simultaneously and put on your best fake smile.

“What’s up?”

“Well, we live in the same direction.” She explained like it was the most obvious thing in the world. You facepalmed yourself and chuckled, knowing you both always walk home together.

“Right, sorry, my brain goes one mile an hour.” You sat up from the rock you were sitting on and started walking towards the forest with her.

There was a comfortable silence between the two of you and you didn’t want to break it, but you couldn’t help but want to ask her about Bill. Did you want to hear the answer, though? If you assumptions are right then you’re just setting yourself for heartbreak and failure.

“Is something on your mind?” Beverly snapped you out of your thoughts, making you shake your head to get the thought out of mind.

“Oh-uh, no nothing important.” You waved your hand off as you told her one of the biggest lies that had come out of your mouth.

“What is it?” She pressed you about it. You really just wanted her to drop the subject, but knowing Beverly as well as you did, there was a 0.01% she would actually let it go. You sighed, running a hand through your tangled hair and getting ready for the biggest punch to the face.

“It’s about Bill.” You stopped walking and turned to notice that all colour was drained from her face. The reason her face was paler than it usually is was because she thought you were about to confess your feelings for the stuttering boy. Beverly was the kind of person to step down when she needed to and if it meant losing the boy she had liked since second grade for her best friend, she would.

“Do you like him?” The redhead asked, tucking a short strand of hair behind her ear. Your face unintentionally cringed at the thought of liking Bill, or any guy for that matter. Bill wasn’t a bad guy to you, but he wasn’t your idea of a significant other.

“No, oh god no! We’re just friends!” You announced a little loudly. The colour came back into her face, but you know it was because she was relieved that you didn’t like Bill which only made your heart sink deeper into the void it was already in, but you still wanted your confirmation.

“I wanted to ask if-uh, if you liked him.” You hugged yourself, rubbing your shoulder softly.

“Do I make it that obvious?” She chuckled, raising an eyebrow. It was as if the ground caved in beneath you as your mind went blank. If you couldn’t see anything, you’d think you would be having a panic attack. You forced a chuckle to hide your pain. It was easy for you to fake since you were doing it a lot lately.

“Yeah, I’m surprised he hasn’t noticed it either.” You shrugged. It was official at this point that there was no glimmer of optimism left in you to take a chance with the redhead, so your only option was to just support your best friend because you could tell she liked him as much as you liked her.

“Bill’s not the type of person to notice affection. He wouldn’t know if someone had crush on him unless they went up to him and told him, but even then, they would have to convince him that it was real.” You explained, using hand gestures to prove your point.

“Then how am i supposed to get his attention?” Beverly asked, staring at you intently for an answer which made you incredibly uncomfortable as her beautiful sea blue eyes burned into your soul. It was like droplets got caught in them and never came out which explain why they shined so brightly in the sunlight, no one could help but get lost in them.

“You tell him.” You shrugged. “It’s really the only way.”

“But when?”

You glanced down at your watch and saw that there was enough time for her to catch up to him. “If you run right now, you’ll make it back before seven o’clock.” You grinned. Beverly gave you a look of disbelief, trying to look for some sign on your face to imply that you were joking, but nothing even gave a hint of it.

“You can’t be serious?”

“You can’t be wasting time right now.” You countered, crossing your arms.

“What about my dad?” She argued, possibly because she was trying to find a reasonable excuse, but you weren’t letting her get off that easily.

“I’m great at stalling so you’re not getting out of this that easily.” You pursed your lips, but your smile was still visible.

“What if he doesn’t like m-”

“I highly doubt that, and if he doesn’t then he needs glasses with prescriptions higher than Richie’s.” You smiled, making her smile back as both of you knew that answer was sincere.

“Will you be fine walking home alone?” She asked, concerned for your safety as well as the chance that her heart could get broken by the stuttering boy.

“I’m completely fine, go get him.” You nodded in the direction everyone else left. She chuckled and pulled you towards her, engulfing you in the most friendliest hug there could ever be. You don’t need to have experienced both hugs to know which one is which, it’s just the feeling you have when you can tell it’s something more, or something less.

“I owe you one.” She pulled away, before running off in the opposite, leaving you alone with your thoughts and feelings.

“Completely fine,” you muttered to yourself.

What a big lie.

 


	14. “Just don’t.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie x Reader

Richie’s lanky fingers grazed across the paper envelope with your messy handwriting spelling out your name on the back of it. He hadn’t heard from you in weeks which he wasn’t really surprised about. If anything, he’d be surprised if he had seen you even if you were his girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend which wouldn’t be your title if he hadn’t talked to brunette at the at the grocery store. Multiple times.

If anyone asked him why he did what he did then he would tell them that he needed to feel something and you weren’t providing that. Making out was something you were constantly uncomfortable with and Richie respected that but he wanted to feel more, more than what you were giving. Most of the time, he was able to control it but the lust seeped inside his body more and more everyday. He would never be able to recall when the lust took over his body but he can recall when he decided to act on it.

_The trashmouth trudged to the grocery, his feet dragging along the concrete. One would assume that he was tired with his slumped posture and droopy eyes, but no he was just a little disappointed. He thought he might’ve finally gotten you more comfortable then just semi-short kisses. It all seemed to be going fine until he slipped his tongue into your mouth which you thought you would be able to handle. However, not even ten seconds later you couldn’t take it anymore, breaking the almost-makeout session and apologizing profusely. You knew how much he wanted more than you were giving him and you respected that just like he respected you, but your mind took over your heart whenever it got too heated. Nevertheless, he reminded you he would be waiting when you were ready, making you smile sincerely._

_Who knew his patience would wear thin so quickly._

_Richie didn’t know why he went to the grocery store. Whatever it was, he wished hadn’t gone in for it. Anyway, he walked through the junk food aisle, mindlessly grabbing a bag of doritos. He moved almost like a zombie, looking for brains after starving for weeks without it. It was unknown to him why he was so down at your rejection for making out with him. Who could blame a sixteen-year-old for wanting to satisfy his urges though, it’s not like he can control it. However, he was telling the truth about waiting for you. Everything about you was so perfect, he wonders how he of all people would catch your eye. But hey, he’s doing something right, whether it was his corny pickup lines or snarky quips, he did catch your attention and he didn’t want to just throw it away._

_Though the doritos may make him feel better, Richie reached for the last bag of skittles, inexplicably just as another person did as well. The boy’s eyes trailed to polished fingers with pink nails, connected to a tanned-skinned body with short curly brown hair. The girl pulled her hand away swiftly, biting her bottom lip in embarrassment._

_“Shit sorry, were you getting that?” She chuckled softly, tucking her a short curl behind her ear. Richie shook his head with a small smile, retracting his hand from the colourful candy as well. It’s not like he absolutely needed it anyway, he just wanted to eat his lust away if that was a thing._

_“Nah, it’s okay. I don’t need it.” He rose into an upright position, adjusting the thick-rimmed glasses on his face._

_“Are you sure? You look like you were really preparing a feast with those chips.” She joked, earning a small chuckle from the raven-haired boy._

_“Well I heard eating is the best way to forget about everything.” He shrugged, without knowing how he would even manage to forget about you for a whole month even when he told himself many times that he wouldn’t forget you in a million years._

_“You got shit going on?” She questioned, getting more and more interested at the cute boy in front of her._

_“Not really, just want to relax and sit back.” He responded lazily, taking a bottle of root beer in the process. The girl pursed her lips in the process, understanding where he was coming from to a certain extent. She really had nothing to say after that, but she wanted to keep talking to him from then on. Maybe if she waited here again for him, one of the times he would show up which wasn’t the best plan but it was something._

_Luckily for her, he did show up the next day, noticeably happier than yesterday because (unbeknownst to her) he spent the whole night talking to you which was the only thing that could brighten his day. The girl still didn’t know about you, but she learned the boy’s name and he learned hers._

_Two days after that, Cindy and Richie exchanged numbers and started talking the day of, learning more and more about each other. However, Richie still hadn’t mentioned you, he didn’t know why but the excuse of him just not wanting to share such a private piece of information seemed to work for him. The calls between the two turned from days to weeks and you had noticed. Of course he told you about Cindy, saying she was just a friend and you being you trusted him and his words._

_It wasn’t until Richie had started missing your calls that you got a little disappointed, but you weren’t going to stop him from making friends. You didn’t want to be that girlfriend and the way Richie talked about Cindy made her out to be a nice girl. The only thing you didn’t understand was why you never got the chance to know her as well, but Richie’s allowed to have his own personal friends as well as you._

_A little after three weeks, Cindy and Richie had begun hanging out at places that wasn’t the grocery store. It was at this point Cindy had a full-blown crush on the boy, and Richie got more and more distant to the girl he was supposed to pay attention to._

_“Hey Rich, are we still watching Heathers tonight?” You asked, twirling the cord of the phone around your finger lazily. Richie muttered a quick ‘fuck,’ completely forgetting about the movie night as he planned to go to the arcade with Cindy._

_“I totally forgot (y/n). I said I’d meet up with Cindy at the arcade.” He replied panicky. You sighed, softening your eyes in disappointment. This was the second time in forever he has forgotten about a date (The first time being a mere accident). If it wasn’t for all those times he was there for you, even when you didn’t want him to be, you would’ve demanded him to bail on Cindy._

_“It’s fine Rich. Have fun with Cindy.”You said with sadness tied to your tongue, but Richie didn’t seem to notice it as he enthusiastically thanked you for understanding you. It was obvious you didn’t match his attitude, but hearing him so happy made you happy even if it wasn’t you initiating it._

_The hangouts turned into visiting each other’s houses as the pair got closer. Richie was almost never around you at this point, even when he was. It’s like his mind was on something else even when you guys got intimate. That’s when your insecurity kicked in, thinking Richie was getting bored of your constant reluctance to make out with him. Even when you tried, it would always seem like a lead-on until you stopped, getting Richie disappointed but not surprised. He still said he was being patient, but what was he doing while he waited?_

_Once again, Cindy spent the afternoon at Richie’s house, joking around and telling stories about their friends and family. However, Richie didn’t mention you once, like you never crossed his mind and were being replaced with memories of Cindy. He didn’t realize it, but this was when the lust took over his body. Cindy was talking about how her dog attacked her grandmother and almost gave her a heart attack. The only thing Richie could focus on was the movement of her lips as she spoke, licking his own in response. He wanted to feel, his body wanted to feel and at this point he was desperate for it, whether it was you or not._

_He could hear a small voice that was trying to remind him of you. The you that he became emotionally attached to. The you that always made him smile until he had a face cramp. The you who’s smile that could light up the room and his world in a matter of seconds. But the voice was so small, it just sounded like irritating squeaking in his mouth like a filthy mouse. He shutted that voice out, getting closer and closer to Cindy as possible, before swiftly closing the gap between them._

_A muffled gasp escaped her lips as she was kissing the boy she developed a crush on over the course of a few weeks. Her eyes were bulging wide, taking in a sharp inhale in amazement. She was about to kiss back until Richie pulled away abruptly with wide eyes himself. They stared at each other with the only thing between them being hunger and lust. No actual love, no infatuation, just a person to fulfill their needs. They both closed the gap simultaneously, roughly pressing their two lips together. Hair was pulled, tongues fought, torsos were felt up, and moans were heard but not once did Richie think about you. Not once._

_This wasn’t the last time this happened. It lasted for two more weeks on the days you and Richie didn’t have a date which decreased significantly as time went on. You asked Beverly about it, her being your closest friend and all but not even she could comprehend why Richie was being so distant. One thought crossed her mind but she would never say it in front of you, though she was worried she would be right._

_May 22, 1992 was a special day. The day you were supposed to confront Richie, another day where he coincidentally cancelled yet another date. You kept your cool, knocking on the door of the Tozier household, knowing his absent parents were barely ever home. The trust you were giving him was fading away into an abyss of nothingness and it was scary. You thought when he opened up about everything like his alcoholic mother and strict father, you were 100% ready to put all your trust in him but he was really testing it right now._

_After a few knocks, you reached under the mat for the secret key that was put there whenever someone forgot their house key, sliding it into the keyhole and turning it clockwise. An unlatching sound was heard as you turned the doorknob, opening the door wide open. You placed the key back under the mat and walked in cautiously, looking around for where he might be. Suddenly a loud thump echoed through the walls of the two-storey home, alerting your gaze to the staircase._

_He never spent his time upstairs when his parents weren’t home._

_Nervousness bubbled up inside you as you took each step up the wooden staircase. Each creek, each click from your red converse caused a butterfly in your stomach. The closer you got to the door of your boyfriend’s room, the louder the sounds of lips smacking together got. You put a hand over your mouth to hide your gasp, eyes burning to create salty tears so they could race down your face in anger and disappointment. Every part of your body was telling you not to turn that doorknob for something you’ll regret seeing will be on the other side. The only thing that was against them was your heart of all things. If you didn’t open that door, then you would live in denial for the rest of your life._

_You turned the doorknob, only to reveal your boyfriend kissing the neck of a girl you’ve never seen before. It was pretty obvious to you that this was Cindy, the girl that seemed to take over his mind for the past month and now you knew why. You stood there like a statue , watching the horror like you were being tortured for something you were wrongly accused of. Embarrassment, anger, disappoint, stupidity, that was what clouded your thoughts as it sended you a thunder storm of the cold hard truth._

_Richie **cheated** on you_.

_“Holy shit.” you breathed out, catching the couple’s attention. Richie’s eyes widened in terror at the sight of you standing there with tears making their marks at the starting line, ready for the race to begin. All memories of you crashed into him like a tidal wave as guilt took its resting place._

_You ran downstairs as fast as you could, ignoring the protests of the voice you thought you could trust. He didn’t even feel real to you, he was just a fantasy now, a forgotten fantasy. Your vision became blurry, bumping into the wall next to the door, giving Richie the time to catch up and explain. However, he didn’t have a fucking clue as to what he was supposed to say. It’s not like this was forced upon him, this wasn’t an “it’s not what it looks like” situation. The real truth was even more horrible. “Hey you weren’t fulfilling my sexual needs so I found someone else.” Yeah, no that would be a terrible explanation._

_“(y/n), please let me explain.” He pleaded, though as stated before his mind was fucking blank. He reached out to you, trying to put a hand on your shoulder but he was immediately slapped away harshly._

_“Don’t.” you snarled, rubbing your throbbing head from bumping into the wall. You blamed him for the injury, though. You blamed him for letting you open up to him. You blamed him for making you think it was okay to trust him. You blamed him._

_“Just don’t.” Your voice cracked as you opened the front door, leaving Richie to just stare at your broken form as you walked away._

Richie actually started to date Cindy a month after, still not over the unofficial breakup between you and him. He didn’t know how much he missed small talks on his roof, small sweet kisses, quiet cuddles and corny jokes with you until now. All Richie and Cindy did was make out and watch movies that would just turn into a make out session. They never had deep conversations, hell she doesn’t even know that he gets physically and verbally abused when his mother had too many drinks or his father is in a bad mood.

You knew all about that though. You knew he would tend to cry himself to sleep when he tried to keep everything suppressed. You knew he went through an almost gothic phase to get over it. You knew that his safe place was actually his roof and not his bedroom because he felt physically and mentally free with the outside breeze. But Cindy didn’t know any of that, not even a slither.

She wasn’t even aware that it was Richie’s seventeenth birthday today, mainly because he never told her and he didn’t like to make a big deal out of it (which you also knew). That’s partly why Richie was hesitant to open your letter. You always remembered Richie’s birthday, but respected his wishes to keep it small, usually just having a movie night with the losers or spending he day at the quarry like any other day.

He couldn’t not open the envelope, though. It’s the first piece of communication from you in a month and it could be about anything that happened to you or how you view you and Richie’s relationship at this point. It felt like an obligation to open this envelope and if he didn’t, he would regret it forever. His fingers cut open the opening, causing small rips to appear on it. A piece of paper was stuck inside it that was clearly from a notebook considering the tear on the edge and the blue lines printed horizontally on it. Richie’s shaky hands hesitantly unfolded the lined paper, revealing creases on the locations it was folded on. He took a deep breath, ready for the long note written in your messy handwriting that for some reason he could read perfectly.

_Dear Richie,_

_i̸t̸'s̸ m̸e̸ It’s (y/n) as you can see by the fact that i signed my name on the back, but if you don’t remember I’m the girl you were dating for two years before you made the decision to move on._

_I want you to know that I’m not mad anymore, which has been a pretty hard task to handle. I don’t really know where our relationship went wrong, but I will say I’m sorry for not noticing it sooner. I have a few guesses as to what happen but the biggest one still floats through my head everyday. Maybe I’m wrong but I’m pretty sure it has something to do with the fact that I wasn’t fulfilling your needs when it came to sexual attention? i̸'d̸ l̸o̸v̸e̸ f̸o̸r̸ y̸o̸u̸ t̸o̸ t̸e̸l̸l̸ m̸ That being said, I can confidently write that I’m not sorry for that. You’ve known me since third fucking grade Rich, and ever since I’d hit puberty I have told you that I’m not comfortable with getting intimate with someone until i’m 100% ready for it. Maybe you didn’t know it at the time, but at one point I actually felt ready but you were to busy with Cindy for me to tell you._

_I’m not mad at Cindy either, from my knowledge it seemed like you actually didn’t tell her about me. It just baffles me how I was never brought up from the millions of phone calls and the number of dates you either ditched or cancelled to hang out with her. w̸e̸'r̸e̸ y̸o̸u̸ a̸s̸h̸a̸m̸e̸d̸ o̸f̸ m̸e̸I also heard from Stan a couple days ago and he told me you looked miserable, that you were miserable, that your days seemed darker than mine when i witnessed you sucking on Cindy’s neck. If I’m being honest, I felt happy and I felt that I should be happy but then I remembered those rooftop talks. You really did it, you made me feel sorry for you, sincerely. And I hate to say it, but I still do and I’m truly sorry for what you’re feeling._

_I hope that you get that your just someone who wants what they can’t have and will never be satisfied about it. But if you keep living your life that way, you’ll never be happy with yourself which is what I think you want to feel. You want me to feel sorry for you, you want to have everyone feel sorry for you. That’s just it. Attention._

_Maybe that’s why you had me for a girlfriend and once again I’m sorry I didn’t give you everything you wanted, or maybe you did actually like what i had to offer but it just wasn’t enough. I’d recommend just trying to talk to Cindy about it, she actually seems really sweet. As for me, this sadly the last you’ll be hearing of me. I’m going off to California to do my senior year and hopefully get into UCLA. You know, my dream university that I’ve been talking about. If you want to see me you’re too late because I already left this morning. I knew you would try to chase after me and I just knew that if I looked at you, I wouldn’t leave._

_That’s thing, I still like you, so much that you would prevent me from my literal fantasy which used to be you at one point. But, what I wanted to say is I will miss you, no matter what happened and what will happen, I will miss you. Of course, I knew it was your birthday so i couldn’t leave you with nothing so i had to give you something._

_On the back is the number of this agent my uncle knows. I knew how much you said you wanted to be a comedian, mostly impersonations so I told him about you. He said if you call him before the end of the month, you guys can have a face to face talk about it. I also gave back the cassette tape you gave me for our one year, I’m pretty sure by the message of the songs that you need it more than i do. So, Happy Birthday Rich, I hope you find that satisfaction._

_Love (y/n)_


	15. “It sucks when you can’t notice someone falling for you.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The three times Ben Hanscom wanted to kiss Beverly Marsh and the one time he did.

Ben Hanscom was absolutely infatuated by Beverly Marsh.

From the day he met her in social studies class to now, his interest in her grew significantly. It seemed as if anything she did would make his heart flutter like a thousand heartbeats going off at once and they were all for her. Whether it’s her laugh or the way she can snap back at anyone in a millisecond, Ben loves it. But she never noticed it.

Ben didn’t blame her for it, he was always cautious of his feelings around her. However, he tried his damndest to make the pining pretty obvious. He comments on her choice of outfit everyday, he asks how she’s doing even if she’s in the happiest of moods, and whenever she needs something Ben is the first to volunteer to help. He only assumes she just takes those as friendly gestures, and it kills him. Everyday.

The one thing he _does_ make obvious is the poems he slips in her locker. Granted, she doesn’t know it’s him since he doesn’t sign it, but he can tell by the blush cheeks she has when she reads them that he’s doing something right.

 

 **one**.

 

Ben waits next to Beverly’s locker, tapping his foot impatiently as he glances through the array of dead students, pleased that today was Friday and they didn’t have to set their alarms for six in the morning now.

Ben had just gotten out of science class, his knowledge about the development of cancer cells slowly diminishing while flashes of fiery red strands of hair fill his mind. There’s not a day that goes by when Ben Hanscom doesn’t think of the girl on fire.

“Ben!” Speaking of which, Beverly Marsh runs up to the boy, her signature smile plastered on her freckled face. Her hair bounces up and down as she practically skips over while her ocean eyes drown Ben in the deep blue seas of desire.

“Hey Bev.” He answers, suddenly feeling a cramping in his shoulder, adjusting his bag so the pain stops. Beverly turns her lock left to right to left, and it unlatches in result, allowing her to open her locker and get rid of the useless books she didn’t need for the weekend.

Ben just watches and wonders how someone can be so effortlessly beautiful just by putting stuff away. It was outstanding to him.

“You got homework?” Beverly asks, zipping her now almost empty bag and throwing it over her shoulder. Ben probably does have homework, he remembers not being able to finish the math questions he was assigned, partly because of Richie practicing his god awful impressions and partly because of Beverly even though she wasn’t even that class.

“Yeah, Richie’s fault.” Ben jokes, earning a mesmerizing chuckle from the girl in front of him.

“Impressions?” She questions.

Ben nods.

“Which one was it?” She asks while they start walking, barely paying attention to the students’ shoulders they were bumping into.

“He called him ‘Wyatt the Bag Boy.’ Sounded just like Richie, though. Again.” Ben shakes his head, both hands on the straps of his bag.

“He’s something else.” Beverly sighs as they start down the stairs, holding on to the railing of safe measure. “By the way, I got another poem.”

Ah yes. The poem Ben slipped into her locker during lunch while the losers were at their usual table right in the corner of the cafeteria. They didn’t think it was unusual that Ben came late, he always went to the library for the first half of lunch hour then joined his friends for the last half. This made Beverly oblivious as to what he did, it was the perfect time for him.

“Do you have any idea who it might be?” Ben asks, pretending to be unaware. Beverly shrugs and turns a corner to the east exit of the school where Ben’s bike sits, chained to the bike rack of their school.

“I’m not trying to make assumptions, it could be anyone.” Beverly says. “Eddie gives me ideas though.”

Eddie was the only person who knew about Ben’s poems, teasing Ben whenever Beverly was around with the written postcard in hand. The only reason he knew was because he had forgotten his second fanny pack for his gym class and caught a glimpse of Ben slipping the poem into Beverly’s locker. He promised he wouldn’t tell in exchange for Ben finding out if Richie liked him. Richie, until this day, still hasn’t budged but Ben knew he was close to.

“Has he now?” Ben grumbles, rolling his eyes at the mention of the hypochondriac’s name. Beverly notices and places a hand on Ben’s shoulder, his skin burning from the contact as his cheeks blush red.

“You okay?” Beverly asks, subtle concern floating around in her eyes. Ben feels lost in them, his lips parting but no words coming out. Jesus, what’s wrong with him?

“Yea-Yeah. Eddie just can’t shut up about Richie these days.” Ben chuckles. It wasn’t a lie either, Ben can’t get through one history class without Eddie mentioning _something_ about the trashmouth. He knows more about the history of Richie’s glasses than he does about world war one.

“It sucks when you can’t notice someone obviously falling for you.” Beverly sighs, both of them stopping while Ben unlocks his bike chain. _Oh you have no fucking idea._

The rest of the way home, Ben can’t focus on anything but Beverly’s lips while she talks. He’s able to multitask, listening to her story about the time Stan had accidentally pushed Mike off the cliff of the quarry while Mike was fully clothed and freezing cold from the fact he had to help his father hang up dead meat in the freezer. Beverly was unable to get through a sentence without breaking out in laughter, wiping an occasional tear that drop down her cheeks.

Ben was able to listen to her story, laughing and responding when he needed to and could daydream about what it would be like to kiss Beverly Marsh. He couldn’t deny he’s had multiple fantasies about it, the location changing every time he thought about it but the way it felt staying the same. He wanted it to be slow yet passionate so he could savour it as much as he wanted to, but it was a thought that only lived in his mind.

They were nice fantasies, though he wished it didn’t happen whenever Beverly was around, he loved hearing her voice when she talked. It was probably one of his favourite things about her, and he always tried to hear it whenever he got the chance. She had plenty of stories to tell, and he enjoyed hearing every single one of them.

He just hopes maybe one day, she’ll be telling him stories with a title that wasn’t best friends.

 

 **two**.

 

Movie night was an annual thing for the losers. It happened every month on the third saturday, a random date chosen for no reason but there didn’t really need to be one. The losers enjoyed it especially because it was an opportunity for the budding romances to get closer without it looking suspicious.

It was definitely Ben’s favourite day of the month.

Beverly wasn’t the type to get scared during horror movies, which was a genre favourite for them, but she tended to cuddle up to the person closest to her so she could keep herself grounded and nine times out of ten, Ben was the lucky boy to have the redhead close to him. On rare occasions, Beverly would cuddle up to Richie, but that only was when Ben couldn’t make it for movie night, though that wasn’t a frequent thing.

“You should tell her tonight.” Eddie suggests, walking his bike beside Ben in the direction of Bill’s house. Ben shook his head, kicking random rocks in his field of view. He desperately wanted to tell Beverly about his—what it feels like—lifelong crush but, ironically, he couldn’t find the words to tell her. It was different when he was writing it down on paper, Ben had the luxury of not being able to see Beverly’s reaction when he delivered his feelings, so he couldn’t be thrown off. But to say it directly to her face… that’s a whole different ball game.  

“I’ll tell her when you tell Richie, instead of me being your personal spy.” Ben shoots back, earning a childish pout from Eddie in response.

“It’s obvious she likes you.” Eddie says, shifting the attention away from himself. He wasn’t lying either, the only person who couldn’t see Beverly’s clear affection for Ben, was Ben.

“Don’t get my hopes up, Eddie.” Ben sighs, turning into Jackson street.

“Why do you think she always sits next to you during movie night?”

“We have unofficial designated seats, everyone just sits where they’re drawn to.”

“You guys always walk home together—”

“We live in the same direction—”

“So do we.”

Ben trips over his words. “Y-You walk with Richie.”

“And he also lives in the same direction, you guys always leave before us.” Eddie counters, with a tone of finality. “At least tell her it’s you writing the poems.”

Ben sighs, trying his best to weigh out the pros and cons of telling Beverly, but rejection storms over everything when he thinks about confessing. If he did tell her and she rejected, no matter how hard they tried, nothing would go back to the way it was. Things would be awkward between them, Ben would probably try to avoid the redhead, they wouldn’t talk about Ms. Coin’s high pitched squeaking voice in Civics class. Everything would be different.

“I can’t, Eddie. I’m sorry.” Ben says, turning up on the Denbrough household. He decides to focus on the house, refusing to see Eddie’s stare burning into him. It’s like he knows that if he looked at Eddie, he’d somehow change his mind.

The two boys drop their bike where a pile of them rest, walking over to the front door and ringing the doorbell. A smiling Mike Hanlon opens the door with a bowl of microwave popcorn tucked into his left arm.

“Good afternoon, ladies.” He greets, moving out of the way to let the two boys enter. They slip off their shoes and walk into the living room where Stan and Richie sit, comparing VHS tapes while Beverly occupies herself with food in the kitchen and Bill gets his stash of candy from his room.

“Eddie Spaghetti! You have no idea how much I’ve missed you!” Richie exclaims, dropping the Dead Poets Society VHS into Stan’s hands, and walking over to the small boy, embracing him a hug. He doesn’t notice the intense blush that creeps on Eddie’s cheeks as he wraps his arms around him, but doesn’t raise suspicion from Richie when Eddie responds with “Don’t call me that, asshole.”

“You love me.” Richie counters, earning no reply from Eddie as he pulls away from the hug. Eddie wasn’t the kind of person to lie, so answering with ‘no I don’t’ would go against his morals. But answering with ‘yes I do’ is just not an option.

“Have you picked a movie?” Ben cuts in, unintentionally saving Eddie from embarrassment.

“We can’t decide between When Harry met Sally and Say Anything.” Richie explains. Ben raises an eyebrow.

“Why romance movies?”

“I don’t know about you haystack, but I’m in the mood for a sappy love story.” Richie comments, inexplicably keeping his glued to Eddie’s eyes. Ben can practically see the two boys undressing each other with their eyes and sneakily slips away to the kitchen to see Beverly filling a plastic cup with cola while little Georgie waits in anticipation for it to be filled to the brink. He quickly thanks Beverly, taking the cup and drinks it while walking away. She smiles at the young boy before turning to face Ben, her ocean eyes lighting up at his presence.

“Hey Ben! When’d you get here?” She asks, opening a popped bag of popcorn and pouring it into a medium sized bowl.

“Just-just now.” Ben awkwardly smiles, taking a step forward.

“Have they picked the movie yet?” She asks dismissively, crumbling the package and throwing it in the garbage.

“Not yet, they’re still debating.” He answers, his eyes trailing over to her auburn strands of hair. He notices that she trimmed it, it was longer yesterday. “Um, your hair’s nice.”

Beverly’s pale cheeks turn red, emphasizing the freckles splattered across her face as she brings her hand up to her short curls. “You’re the first person to notice.”

Ben flashes a smile, unable to find his next words. The two kind of just stand there, waiting for the other to say something. It’s not necessarily awkward, but it’s not comfortable. Ben immediately thinks about what Eddie had said, contemplating whether now was the right time to confess. Everyone was in the living room, it was just the two of them and Ben had just complimented her, it was a great opportunity.

Once again though, Ben just couldn’t find the words. He didn’t want to be forward with it, but he didn’t want to lead it on to the point where she would have no idea what he was talking about. He felt his heart beat faster by the second, tapping his toes inside his shoes.

“How long does it take for you two to get some food? I’m really hungry!” Richie calls, breaking the tension with a knife. The two snap their heads towards the doorway before looking at each other then to the floor as if they’ve been caught by one another. Ben gets a little annoyed, wondering that if Richie hadn’t interrupted, he would’ve mustered the courage to tell Beverly but now he might never know.

The two indirectly indicate to one another that they should exit the kitchen, Beverly holding the bowl of popcorn while Ben decides to take the bottle of cola and they walk into the living room, walking closer to each other than they need to be.

The seating arrangement stays the way it always does. Richie and Eddie take half of the love seat while Bill and Stan take the other half. Mike takes the one-seater with Georgie by his side because of his small size, and Beverly and Ben sit on the floor in front of the coffee table. It’s always been like this, the only times it changed being when someone wasn’t here.

“What’s the movie?” Ben asks, setting the bottle on the table.

“When Harry met Sally.” Mike says, already reaching for the popcorn and shoving it into his mouth. The pair nods and watch Bill pop in the VHS, content that the movie was starting at the beginning instead of them having to rewind the whole thing because it was already watched.

Throughout the movie, Ben can’t help but replace himself with Harry and Beverly with Sally. Of course, they don’t start off on the best of terms at the beginning of the movie, but gradually as the time jumps within the movie, they get closer and realize their feelings for each other.

The group had chosen to skip the sex scene, knowing it would be utterly uncomfortable and Georgie hadn’t fallen asleep yet, surprisingly really focused on the movie. Richie was the only one who jokingly protested, saying what they were going to do was softcore compared to what he’s done with Eddie’s mother to which Eddie replied with: “Shut the fuck up.”

Every time Ben looked away from the screen, it was to take a handful of popcorn or gawk at Beverly. He knew romance movies were a guilty pleasure of hers, she didn’t like to show she took a liking to them but Ben could see right through it. He could tell she was in awe because her eyes would widen a bit, her lips would be parted and her shoulders would be relaxed.

Ben just looks at her face for copious amounts of time and can analyze how she feels based on how she looks, but he always feels like a creep for doing so. He knows it’s not a obsession, he doesn’t stalk her or takes photos of her and keeps it somewhere, that’s fucking crazy. He just likes to think about her so his day feels a little brighter. It just seems like whenever he sees her, his life just gets better, even if Henry Bowers has beat him up and taken his money, Beverly Marsh’s smile fixes everything.

She does more for him, then she thinks.

Ben can’t help but want to thank her with a kiss. The thought gets amplified when he witnesses the kiss between Harry and Sally, once again replacing the two characters with his own fantasies. He’s no director, but he can imagine the camera pan around them as a cheesy love song starts to play and it makes him blush.

He turns around to see Beverly’s reaction, but she’s already looking his way. Her head snaps back of course, trying not to seem like she was caught, but her eyes don’t get the memo. Ben decides to make the situation less awkward, pretending to seem oblivious to her staring.

“I can’t believe it took them that long.” He comments, earning a nervous chuckle in response.

“Yeah, me neither.” She nods. “It’s annoying when someone can’t see the other person likes them.” She mumbles, but Ben hears it. He doesn’t know if he was supposed to hear it though.

“Totally.”

They both turn and their eyes simultaneously meet. And just like that, Ben has an over impending urge to kiss the girl in front of him. If he leaned in any further, he could and he desperately wanted to.

But he doesn’t.

Instead, he backs away awkwardly, too deep in his thoughts to look at Beverly’s disappointment. _She’s just your friend, that’s all she is._ Ben thinks and hangs his head low as he takes the empty bowl of popcorn and goes to the kitchen to set it in the sink.

He desperately wants to smack himself, but knows if anyone walked in, they’d think he’s insane so instead he just mouths “stupid” to himself multiple times. He knows he wasn’t going to get anywhere if he kept hiding and letting the paranoia take over. But in what world would Beverly Marsh be with Ben Hanscom?  According to Ben, none of them.

He just continues to stay empty inside.

 

**three.**

 

Ben trudges to the cafeteria for the second-half of lunch and reminds himself to give Eddie his notes for History since he wasn’t here on Monday. It’s hard to face Beverly though, considering she hasn’t talk to him at all on Monday and didn’t show up to walk with him like she always did. Richie informed Ben that she had been moping since movie night, but didn’t know why.

He told Ben to ask Mike about it since she walked home with him that night, but Mike said he was sworn to secrecy as to why Beverly had been so down. All he said was that Ben needed to talk to her before it’s too late, though Ben didn’t understand the context behind Mike’s words.

He advances to the table where his friends sit, sadly not seeing a trace of auburn hair in the group. He takes out his history notebook and lazily drops it in front of Eddie, startling the boy in the process.

“Jesus.” Eddie mutters, observing his friend’s slumped posture. He automatically feels the boy’s pain, his face contorting into one of pity.

“Has Bev shown up yet?” Ben asks. They all shake their heads and Ben sighs, sitting down while his eyes stay at the door, hopeful that Beverly would walk through them.

“Have you talked to her yet?” Mike questions.

“I haven’t even seen her.” Ben shrugs, resting his head on his hands.

“Can I just say, I’m really confused.” Richie buts in, turning all attention to him. “Why haven’t you told her yet, haystack.”

Ben gulps.

“Told her what?” He says, pretending to have no idea what the trashmouth was talking about. He doesn’t do a very good job though. It had to have been Eddie who told him about his crush, he couldn’t expect no less. He’s actually surprised how long Eddie managed to keep the secret, considering how easily he can be persuaded under pressure.

“That you’re balls deep in love with her.” Richie jokes, nudging Eddie to tell him to laugh along. Eddie only rolls his eyes and hits him, telling him to shut up.

“Eddie!” Ben whines, burying his head in his arms in shame.

“I didn’t tell him!” Eddie defends himself, putting his hands up for emphasize but Ben can’t believe a word of it, looking up to eye him incredulously. Richie decides to end a future argument, and speaks up like he always did.

“Eddie didn’t need to tell me anything. You practically eye-fuck her everyday, I’m surprised she isn’t pregnant yet.” Richie explains, earning grimaces in disgust and an eye roll from Stan.

“He is right though.” Bill speaks up. “You make it pr-pre-pretty obvious.”

The realization makes Ben more annoyed when he puts together the fact that even though his feelings for the redhead were apparently excruciatingly obvious, she never even noticed. Not once.

“Well, what am I supposed to do?”

“You get off your ass and tell her.” Mike states matter-of-factly. Ben can tell Mike knows more than he’s leading on, but his advice has to be telling him that Beverly might like him back. Why would he set up his friend to get heartbroken? Mike isn’t that type of person.

The only problem is Beverly herself. She’s avoiding him and whenever he thinks she’s in one place, she ends up being somewhere else. It’s like a stupid cat mouse game and Ben’s sick of it.

“When am I supposed to tell her?” Ben asks, desperately hoping for answers. He knows now that if he doesn’t do it the next time he sees her then he might never do it again, or maybe he’s just saying that to boast himself because there’s that chance he could chicken out.

“Right now.” Mike says, pointing towards the door where, as if on cue, Beverly Marsh enters and walks over to the losers’ table. Yet another poem is sitting in her hands and her face almost matches the colour of her hair.

“Hey.” She greets timidly, worrying every single boy at the table. Beverly always made the table hers when she approached the table, but now she seemed like a new student asking if they could sit at their table. It was unnatural.

The boy’s act as if nothing’s wrong and say hey back, going back to what they were doing.

Ben can’t help but think it’s his fault. If his assumptions were right, then she’s probably disappointed that Ben hadn’t kissed her after the movie. He thought it was a long shot, but in his mind he wanted that to be the reason then he could tell her that he wanted to, and was clouded with the thought that she might not like him back.

That way, he could tell her he desperately wanted to kiss her and prove it by pressing his lips to hers. All his dreams would come true if it happened like that.

Either way, everything goes back to Ben Hanscom wanting to kiss Beverly Marsh.

“You got another poem?” Stan asks, looking up from the drawings Bill was showing him. Beverly snaps out of her dozed trance and nods, her eyes reading over the poem and giving Stan the chance to glance at Ben as she does so.

Ben shrinks into his seat, looking to Eddie who was also eyeing him with a knowing look. He knew at this point if he looked at anyone of his friends, they would be staring back at him.

Uncomfortable, Ben says he needs to excuse himself and leaves before anyone can protest.

 

**one.**

 

Beverly feels her stomach clench and hangs her head low, an unfitting frown on her lips instead of her signature smile. She feels her eyes burn, but blinks them repeatedly to prevent anything from slipping out.

At first, she was hopeful that the boy who had his way with words liked her back, but now she’s not so sure. Beverly didn’t know who was writing the poems, and she ignored the gut feeling telling her that Ben was the culprit, under the impression that she was setting herself up for failure if she listened to it.

She thought that maybe she was finally right during movie night, but it shattered into pieces when Ben pulled away during their potential kiss. She knew she couldn’t blame Ben, it wasn’t his fault he didn’t think of her that way and she couldn’t control it either. It just kills her.

Her eyes try to find something interesting to get her mind off the sad thoughts that storm her mind and they find a set of notes that seem to be describing the Battle of Yorktown in 1781. She perks up and takes a closer look at them, or more specifically, the penmanship. Her eyes widen and she eagerly takes a look the penmanship of her admirer’s poem, comparing the two styles of writing.

They’re identical.

“Whose notebook is that?” Beverly urgently asks, hoping the answer she hopes. The boys are completely startled by her outburst, especially Eddie, who the question is directed to.

“It’s Ben’s notebook.” He answers and jumps as well as the rest of the boys when Beverly hurriedly leaves her seat and races out of the cafeteria.

“What the fuck was that?” Richie asks, looking at where the redhead had exit from. Mike thinks about it for a moment and glances at the notebook before smiling and shaking his head proudly.

“She figured it out.”

***

Ben sits on the dry grass with no care that lunch ends in ten minutes. He’d usually be in class by now, but he wouldn’t be able to concentrate anyways considering the past few days. He knows now that he should’ve kissed her but her didn’t and he’s going to scold himself for the rest of his life.

His main goal was to make sure nothing would ruin his and Beverly’s friendship, and that’s exactly what happened. He didn’t even need to tell her he liked her for it to happen either.

Ben just picks grass off the ground and throws them at oncoming cars, only to have the wind throw them back at his face. He spits out the blades that go into his mouth and rubs his face for any excess. Jeez, he can’t even throw grass right.

It feels like nothing functions anymore. Like Ben is a robot, deprived of oil and energy and is bound to just stand in one spot, not moving a muscle. He feels trapped.

It’s only until that mesmerizing voice provides him the power to look up from his paralyzed state.

“Ben!” He hears Beverly Marsh shout, turning his head to see the girl out of breath. She looks like she just ran a marathon.

He feels as if he doesn’t have the obligation to look at her and hangs his head back down, waiting to see if she’ll walk up to him. And she does.

“I’ve been looking for you everywhere.” She pants, sitting cross-legged beside the dirty blonde-haired boy.

“Sorry.” He says, instinctively going back to picking at grass.

Silence fills the air, both parties having no idea what to say next. Beverly knew why she came but she didn’t know how to say it. Her mind hadn’t gotten this far. She assumed she’d know exactly what to say, but it seems like she became to optimistic.

She just decides to place the poem on Ben’s lap, hoping he’ll catch on.

Ben does look to the poem, going back to the time he wrote it in the library. No surprise, the only thing on his mind was Beverly’s lips so he wrote it about her smile. He now thinks it’s sappy, looking back on it but he doesn’t even care anymore. The only thing that mattered is that Beverly liked it.

“I-uh, I read over this.” Beverly musters the courage to begin. “Your notebook was with Eddie and the way this person wrote was identical to-to yours.”

Ben finally looks up and stares back to Beverly’s blue orbs that always drowned him in infatuation and desire. It’s obvious to him that she knew it’s him who wrote the poems, and for some reason, he starts to get ready for rejection.

“Are you that person? Did you write these?” She asks softly.

“Yeah.” Ben confesses and Beverly feels the weight of the world fall off her shoulders.

“So, you like me.” Beverly states. She doesn’t ask because she knows the answer, it’s more of her trying to convince herself it’s true.

“Yeah, I do.” Ben says, looking down. “Very much.”

Beverly can’t help but chuckle at how surreal it feels to have her crush like her back. She feels like she’s in some hollywood movie, but there’s no acting. It’s just genuine love.

Ben takes it the wrong way though, getting up from his spot and beginning to walk back inside the school. He feels embarrassed that she’s laughing at his feelings for her, like he’s trying to prank her in a stupid joke and Ben feels like one. A stupid joke.

“Okay, there’s no need to rub it in.” Ben grumbles, catching Beverly off guard before she realizes her mistake. She grabs the boy’s hand, and turns him back around, using him to stand up.

“Ben, I like you.” She elaborates, causing Ben’s eyes to widen and his stomach to flip like a professional gymnast doing a routine in the olympics. “I like you too.”

Ben takes a second to let the words sink in, repeating the words that have been said to him. He feels his ears playing tricks on him, in pure disbelief that Beverly Marsh likes him. Beverly Marsh likes Ben Hanscom. It sounds weird, but it fits really well surprisingly.

“You do?” Ben asks for confirmation, having to hear it again for confirmation. Beverly smiles and interlocks their two hands together, pulling him closer to the point where their noses are practically touching. Ben’s breath hitches at the close proximity, desperately wanting to close the distance.

“Yeah. Like, a lot.” She breathlessly chuckles, and Ben can’t help but chuckle back. He feels like the only thing left to do, to seal the deal, is kiss her.

So he does.

It’s exactly how he imagines it. It’s slow and soft, just as he thought Beverly’s lips would feel like. She wraps her arms around his neck to pull him closer as his arms wrap around her waist for stability, knowing if he didn’t, he’d collapse onto the floor and turn to mush.

He never wants to end, he would miss his favourite class if it meant he got to kiss Beverly just a little longer. It also would feel like if he pulled away then he would realize he was just in fantasy land, and he wants to stay in it a little longer.

Unfortunately, it does end but the fantasy doesn’t stop because Ben knows now that Beverly’s feeling for him are real. Her arms are still wrapped around his neck, and his arms are still around her waist, while they’re eyes are still locked to one another’s. Ben leans his head against the redhead’s and she smiles, closing her eyes in content.

“I know the ice cream place is open now.” Ben says, not bothering to change his position. He likes it.

Beverly laughs. “Are you asking me out?”

“I guess?” Ben says questionably. He doesn’t want to go straight into it but a date sounds better than English, especially since Beverly’s not in that class with him. He just wants to be her right now.

“Let’s go then.” She pulls away, retracting her arms and interlocking her hands with his. Ben feels the blush creeping on his cheeks and this time he doesn’t mind, seeing the one on Beverly’s as well.

They walk in silence, completely baffled as to what just happened.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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